Are other guys having the same experience you are on the gay dating apps? We wondered, too. So we conducted a a nationwide survey of nearly 4,000 gay men last month to gauge their behavior. It was no ordinary survey -- not with questions like, "Have you ever sent a dick pic?"
Our purpose for the survey was simple: To help you compare your dating app experiences with other gay men. Check out our analysis below the infographic.
Before we get into the delicious data (and it is yummy), a couple of things about the survey: Nearly 4,000 gay men ages 18-65 participated over the course of four weeks in February of 2015. This survey was not commissioned, nor sponsored by or for, any of the gay dating or hookup apps. We conducted the study for our own use.
Okay, let's dive in. We see a couple of things that make our pincers rub with glee. Let's start with the most scandalous and work our way down:
83 Percent of Gay Men Have Sent a Dick Pic.
This is, by far, the most shocking statistic in our survey. Receiving dick pics (whether you asked for them or not) is a rite of passage on the apps, but 83 percent? That means almost everybody on the dating apps has taken the time to pose their penis (to add an optical inch or two, natch), store it on their phone and send it off to strangers they are likely never to meet. Is that a sign of sexual liberation or plain old exhibitionism? You decide.
31 Percent of Gay Men Lie About Their Age, Height or Weight.
A bitter queen once told us that certain gay men lie and cheat so much you have to count your teeth after they kiss you. We don't know about that, but it does bring up a question-is this rate of self-reported cheating higher or lower than you would expect? We think it's about right, given the results of studies on straight men using dating apps, which show about the same amount of self-reported misrepresentation.
45 Percent of Guys Who Actually Meet Don't Hook Up.
In other words, almost half the time two guys meet, one of them says, "Thanks but no thanks." The high number of bail-outs might surprise some, given that two strangers who've spent a fair amount of time trading pictures (including their penises!), texting, and one assumes, sometimes talking on the phone or Skyping, would NOT end up in each other's arms. On the other hand, it might be understandable given the amount of lying about age, height and weight (see above). If you thought you were meeting a young hottie and the guy that shows up is so old he owes Jesus ten bucks for the lumber, you're probably going to bail.
50 Percent of Guys Who Agree to Meet Do It in Their Homes.
Giving a complete stranger your street address and greeting him at the door could be seen as brave or stupid, depending on your point of view. Given that 45 percent of encounters don't end up in a hookup, one assumes there are a lot of very awkward moments across gay America's living rooms when the door knocks and you don't like what's on the other side of it.
30 Percent of Gay Men Don't Need to See a Face Pic to Meet Up.
Is this indicative of the down low meeting the down low, or just another example of plain ol' junkyard dog scrumping, where looks don't matter, but orifices do? Probably a little bit of both.
The results of our survey show a vibrant, insightful, sometimes hilarious look at how gay men act on dating apps. But it shows an uglier side, too. Like a strong strain of racism and HIV stigmatization. To see the complete results of our survey please click here.
Michael Alvear is the founder of grabhim.net.