Writing a memoir is much like going through your trunk of family treasures and keepsakes. At times the memories may be fuzzy, just like the ink on the pages of that 70-year-old journal your great-grandmother kept. Sometimes the memories may be painful, much like the ring your father gave you before he passed away. And sometimes the memories may be glorious, like the wedding dress you have stored safely, in hopes that your daughter may one day wear the family heirloom.
Due to the emotions that emerge in memoir writing, it is often necessary that the writer understand how to navigate and conquer the writing process, in spite of the added element of being taken for a ride on an emotional roller coaster each time one sits down to write. There are strategies writers can use to help ease the pain, slow the emotional twists and turns, and take the raw emotions and coat them with a little extra love and understanding, so as not to startle our readers.
As I work with memoir writers of all ages and backgrounds, we have collectively been creating a list of strategies which help us better cope with the emotional aspects of writing a memoir. I know the pain, and pleasure, first hand. In fact, when the hard parts of my own memoir became too much to write, I actually had to pack up and go to a little cabin in the woods to finish the chapters I had skipped. Being alone allowed me the space and time I needed to process the raw emotions and put them down in draft form. That little cabin held my pain, my rage, and soaked up my tears... ultimately allowing me 10 days later to emerge with a finished manuscript.
9 Tips for Dealing with the Emotions When Writing a Memoir
- Many writers are concerned about the pain they will bring to others -- especially when writing a memoir. I must say that this is a real issue we all face with this genre -- whether it is pain caused unintentionally, by sarcasm, just by telling the truth, or an invasion of privacy. I sincerely believe most of us do not set out to hurt others, but if you are a writer, of any type, there is always going to be someone who is hurt or who doesn't agree with you. My best advice is to write the truth, always, and know going in that if you can stand in your truth, and speak from a place of truth, this will bring you much comfort when the questions start pouring in from your readers.