Some words belong on the Internet and on the Internet alone. They lose their power when they leave the screen. Perhaps, in 2011, it was novel to say "hashtag" and "IDK" out loud and in public. Today, in 2014, it's inexcusable.*
This is real life. You don't need to clarify that you're meeting up "in real life" or that you saw something "in real life." I assume everything you talk about is happening IRL.
Hashtags are for Twitter. They're also for Instagram and Facebook if you want to be annoying. They are meant for categorizing thoughts online, not for emphasizing a word. Odds are, most of the people who say "hashtag" out loud don't even know what it means.
"el-oh-el" or "lohl"
PEOPLE ACTUALLY SAY "LOL" INSTEAD OF LAUGHING. Saying that you're laughing instead of actually laughing is not just patronizing, it's confusing. Do people not remember that "LOL" means "laughing out loud"?
We get it. It's a song. People are narcissistic. But not every photo you take has to be a "selfie," and if something is a "selfie" you don't have to shout "selfie!" Calm down.
Can we all just agree to stop saying "YOLO"? Saying that you only live once definitely doesn't make you live life any differently. We vote for bringing back "carpe diem."
"blest" or "hash-tag-blest"
We get that you're probably saying "blessed" or "hashtag blessed" ironically, but you're still saying it. Keep that nonsense online, ya hipster.
If you're asking if you're right you're probably not right.
Do not call anyone "bae." It's not funny. If you want to call someone babe, just do it. Don't chicken out.
Saying "idk" instead of "I don't know" doesn't even save you any time. Both are three syllables.
*TBH, I've used all of these IRL. Do as I say, not as I do.