Anne Wagener has been a bridesmaid 10 times. She has transformed her experiences -- good, bad, and hilarious -- into a delightful first romantic novel, Borrow a Bridesmaid (Simon & Schuster). It's also a portal into the minds and hearts of 21st century 20-somethings. I interviewed Anne about her book and what life is like today for the coming generation:
Question: This book has been categorized as a coming of age story. What trials does your main character have to pass through before moving to the next stage of her life?
Answer: Piper's most important trial is to learn to stand up for herself and value her own worth in the face of bosses, clients, and boyfriends who want her to put her down.
Another trial is figuring out how to balance her own needs with work, friendship, and love. One of Piper's needs is to pursue her writing dreams, which she does even though she can't imagine how she can make that passion into a career. She also has the need to be loved deeply for who she is, and she's burned romantically before she finds someone who both respects and loves her.
Question: You mention in your bio that you've personally been (a bridesmaid) in 10 weddings. How did these experiences shape your attitudes towards marriage and love?
Answer: I think being in so many weddings -- all vastly different and unique -- helped me see that just like no two people are the same, no two relationships are the same. Love and commitment take different paths and different forms. Some of my friends have known their spouses since high school, others have met pretty recently. One couple eloped because they didn't think their parents would approve. Some knew early on they were in love, others took their time to fall in love. Another couple had two weddings, each with a different religious focus. I also learned that marriage takes a lot of courage and faith. And a good sense of humor. I think you have to have a good sense of humor to plan a wedding.
Question: What other twentysomething/young adult experiences are explored in this book that you think are unique to this new generation?
Answer: I touched a bit on how hard it is not to compare yourself to other people, especially via social media. A friend once pointed out to me that your twenties are the first time you really diverge from your close friends in terms of life experiences. Everyone isn't on the same page anymore like they were in college or high school. When during your twenties, one friend could be working a minimum wage job and living in her parents' basement while another earns a medical degree or has four children. Especially when social media gives you a window into more people's lives than before, I think it's hard not to compare yourself to others and come out feeling like a failure or like you're missing something.
Question: I was particularly struck by the heroine's sense of struggle -- for financial security, for personal meaning in her life. Do you think life is harder for young men and women today than for previous generations?
Answer: I honestly don't know. I think in some ways it's easier for our generation, with a lot of wonderful new technology. In other ways, it's definitely harder, with lots of debt (personal and national), and college degrees not going as far as they once did (as with my main character, who has a bachelor's degree but works retail). But no matter what the social and economic context, I can't imagine that growing up and figuring out who you are and who you want to be has ever been easy. I hope people in different generations will relate to this aspect of the book.
Question: The Supreme Court finally legalized same sex marriage across the USA. While conservatives decry this culture shift, do you think for the younger generation, this shift is just common sense? The gay couple in your book actually serve as foils for the heroine -- an example of deep love and commitment, while most of the other characters' relationships are in turmoil. What do you think?
Answer: Absolutely, it's common sense: gay couples have been practicing deep love and commitment for as long as heterosexual couples, and long before the government said it was OK. In the book, Piper's best friend and his boyfriend are definitely an example of a couple who are committed and truly in love. I hope readers will relate to them as characters and as people they'd want to know in real life, and not necessarily as a point I'm making.
Question: What's your next book going to be about?
Answer: I'm still exploring ideas, but in some way or another, I'd like to tackle mental health and anxiety. But it won't be too heavy -- there will be plenty of romance and comedy mixed in!
Anne Wagener is the author of Borrow-A-Bridesmaid, which was inspired by her own ten turns as a bridesmaid. Her bridesmaid adventures run the gamut from a Las Vegas elopement to an elegant English castle wedding. When she's not writing, Anne is playing covers of 90s songs on her ukulele, reading, or eating too much ice cream.
Website: annewagener.weebly.com
Tim Ward is the author of Indestructible You: Building a Self that Can't be Broken.