Kathy Griffin
How does one describe Kathy Griffin?
I talked to this woman, and still can’t come up with one thing. So, I’ll attempt to describe her based on my experience with her.
The woman I talked to on the phone was exactly who I’ve seen on the screen in some form or another for almost 30 years. Kathy’s energy is infectious, not just because she is an energetic force of nature, or that she makes a colorful entrance into our lives – I think because it’s behind that energy of the actress, comedienne and author lie a woman’s whose mastery of improve stems from her genuine desire to connect with her people.
I’ll give you an example of colorful entrances – I’m sitting in the conference room at my day job preparing for my call from Kathy, as I sat in wait, I received a tweet.
Once we were on the phone, she asked, “Did you get my tweet on the Twitter?” That told me I would be in for a ride. Kathy and I talked about her upcoming visit to The Masonic in San Francisco, a great place for her to connect with some… Interesting people – a necessary ingredient for improve.
“I always look forward to playing The Masonic, it’s a gorgeous venue. San Francisco is just one of the cities on my 50 city celebrity run-in tour where I feel like I can be unbridled in my terror and criticism of what’s going on politically and throw in a little Kardashian for good measure. It’s all so crazy.” Kathy said.
January 21st, Kathy’s stop in the city’s venue The Masonic will be just one in her 50 city tour for her recently released book Kathy’s Griffin’s Celebrity Run-Ins, An A to Z Index.
Have you made any recent stops on your book tour in San Francisco? How has the tour been going?
I just did a book signing at Books Inc. The book came out about a month ago, Kathy’s Griffin’s Celebrity Run-Ins, An A to Z Index. I’ve been having the best times at these signings. My favorite moment was at Books Inc – so, I’m doing the signing, awesome audience, having the time of my life, then I do a little Q and A and then I sign the books. This one guy comes up to me, he’s so sweet and he’s leaning in to thank me, and he tells me, ‘Ms. Griffin, I just want to thank you, I watch your specials and they get me through hard times.’ He’s just saying all this very sweet stuff, then he says to me, ‘I really think you’re going to be a legend once you’re dead.’ You know, I said, ‘thank you.’ You know what, Bryan, I felt very reassured when Trump is tweeting about nukes.
So, that means Trump is your quickest way to becoming a legend.
Yes, he is a very rapid ticket to my making legendary status. It’s not exactly the way I wanted to become a legend, but if just one person out there thinks that I’ll be a legend once I’m dead, then damn it get me to the gallows! I love it!
I don’t think you’ll have to get to the gallows.
Don’t you think Trump is going to take you and I and put us in a gulag somewhere?
I think that he’s capable of anything. I truthfully find him to be a psychotic Cheeto with my little pony hair.
Yeah, I know, that’s what it is.
It’s comforting to know that we have Kathy Griffin to antagonize him.
You mean like when I tell him that he should get back to his real job, like getting my effing coffee?
Have you been met with any push-back from Trump followers on social media?
I thought I had it rough with Demi Lovato fans, but those deplorables really the Lovato fans a run for their money. I have to tell you, I feel for the two gay men who approached Ivanka Trump on a plane about the fact that they’re scared that her father is running the country – now they’ve had their home address, phone number where he works all put online. I have people confront me on airplanes all the time about a joke they liked, or a joke they didn’t like, or they’re drunk and think I’m Reba, and other way more outrageous things said to me and no one got ticked off.
It’s literally like the world of Scientology up there in the Trump Tower -- Scientology pre-Leah Remini. If you said one thing about them, they were so litigious that they would come after you. These deplorables are going online million times tweeting people various times, ‘he won, get over it.’ I’m actually curious to know if it’s in fact really just 12 teenagers in Macedonia, or if we all really have to worry about 62 million people walking around with pure vitriol in their hearts, or just a few bad apples – or bad actors as they say.
Have you run into any Donald Trump supporters in San Francisco? If so, what’s that been like?
You guys know that you’re an amazing city, that’s why I do a lot of shows there for a reason. I also do a lot of shows in Florida, New Jersey. Usually, San Francisco audiences are exceptional because it’s obviously a bastion of progress and forward thinking folks. I’m very much looking forward to my show at the Masonic, because trust me when I do my double at the Potawatomi Hotel & Casino in Wisconsin, you just have to assume that at least half of the audience are people who are, not deplorables, but Trump supporters and voted for him. I think I’m going to always have to make adjustments, so if I’m doing a casino I’ll be doing one set of material, but when I’m at the Masonic I can let loose there a lot more. It’s a dream for a comic.
Since we are discussing your book about celebrity run-ins, I’m pretty sure you’ve met Donald Trump. Do you have any stories to tell about any of those experiences?
I’m very proud of my Trump story because it’s the craziest story, that you could only hear it from me because it’s so bizarre. It’s a day I spent with Donald Trump driving his golf cart, with myself and Liza Minelli sitting in the back.
Just wow. I have no other words.
It doesn’t get better than this. So, his team called me about being on a challenge on The Apprentice. I had already participated in a challenge with the beloved, dearly departed and very much a friend of San Francisco, Joan Rivers when she was on. He wanted us to host a charity fundraiser for The Apprentice, although I’m sure it’s safe to assume after reading The Washington Post that none of the money went to the actual charity. Liza wasn’t feeling so well, Donald was sort of unaware of anything while driving his golf cart with his gut hanging over his belt – here I am being protective over Liza, the one, the only, the EGOT. He also wants people to call him ‘the Donald.’ I’ve had a few run-ins with him over the years, but this story with the one and the only Liza Minelli was the one that I had to put in the book. If that doesn’t kick it up a notch, I don’t know what does.
You know, calling him ‘the Donald’ makes perfect sense; when I think of ‘the Donald’ I think of Donald Duck, because he’s also a quack with orange on his face. It all goes together.
I see a meme in your future. I go on stage at the Masonic on January 21st, let’s just see if we still have a planet in any way, shape or form.
You mentioned Joan Rivers, I know that she is a hero of yours. Do you have any favorite experiences with Joan?
Joan called me about 5 years and invited me to visit the Royals with her at Windsor Castle in Buckingham Palace, so I had a girls getaway with Ms. Joan Rivers, Charles and Camilla. I have all of the pictures, I treasure that experience.
Typically everyone has what many like to call a San Francisco experience with something or someone, what is yours?
I have a little game I like to play where I go into the City Lights Bookstore, and ask them if they have my books – they never do and they know who I am. I go in there and I say stuff like, ‘Do you have the newest work by Kathy Griffin? She’s a very edgy new author. A lot of famous authors like Chuck Palahniuk worship her.’ They just look at me blankly and say ‘No, we have more serious authors here.’
I also like riding the 30 Stockton. I would say riding the 30 Stockton has special meaning to me because I know if I ever get into any kind of rumble with an elderly Asian lady, she’ll kick my ass with those thin plastic grocery bags.
What are some of the more memorable experiences you’ve had that made you say, ‘I have to write this book’?
I wrote this book because I was watching Straight Outta Compton, I turned to my younger boyfriend and I said ‘I knew four of the people portrayed in this movie.’ He was like ‘no way.’ Yeah, I made out with Snoop Dogg when I hosted the Billboard Music Awards, I was the little spoon and Suge Knight was the big spoon. I said, gosh over my career I’ve now become the person whose met everybody and thought this was the book I haven’t written yet. One page per person, there are about 120 celebrities in this book – everyone from Cher to Anderson Cooper, to Demi Lovato, Gerald Ford, all of these people you would never have thought I met – just these weird little stories. There’s a lot of people that I’ve run into and have just had these little glimpses that were not enough to do a 15 minute act on in one of my shows. I sat next to Woody Allen at 10 person dinner and he tells you that he’s seen every episode Hannah Montana – I’ve gotta write a book!
Kathy Griffin