{A Collective Breath} Surrendering to All the Things


It hasn't even been a week as I write this. Not a week since Prince returned to the galaxies. Only a few days since Beyonce's #Lemonade made the skies open.

24 hours since the day I came onto the planet 32 years ago {I was 2 weeks early, mama said}.

Just a few hours since I realized my baby niece has been in the belly of my sister for 8 full months.

It's been 40 hours since the eve before my birthday, when my beloved and I sat around the wood I placed in the fire pit and lit to burn in the desert. 40 hours since the breath of the wind blew hard to make the flames catch. Since I sat back to gaze into the flames, grateful for the gust of wind, grateful for the element of air that gave us fire that night.

The same night I talked curiously about the wind and air to Sammy, wanting to know more about the force of this element.

Wind that spreads seeds. Wind that gives us life through our breath. Wind that makes song and sound. Wind that smooths down rocks, and sails over the oceans. Wind that opens us up to Change, whether we want it or not.

That night, as we laid down in our tent to sleep, I watched the night sky all lit up with stars. I could hear the stirring of the wind in spirals far out in the sky. I got scared, too, and woke Sammy up to put the cover back on our tent {to close us up tight and contain us}.

And within the hour, a windstorm began to blow like a train through the desert. Our tent flapped and yelled. The big lion sounds sucked away all the quiet peace of the desert -- and made sleep impossible for a while. After a few hours of the wind, I started to think: maybe the Earth doesn't have my back. Maybe we are so small and so unimportant. Maybe the wind hates me.

And with those few thoughts, I made myself so small that I cried. And as I wept, the wind began to slow, and soon, I fell asleep until dawn.

I write this down here because every week I aim to share some simple piece of my truth. Some way that doubt or triumph show up for me.

You see, I called the wind to me that night to teach me something about it. I called it {magic being that I am}, and then I wanted it to go away! So what I asked as the windstorm flipped through our flimsy tent was what's the lesson in this? And the answer I received: that I cannot control everything.

We already know this, I know.

But it's good to be reminded. That there is so much out of our control. There is pain and there are storms both natural and human-made. And all we can do is ask: what are the lessons in this? And try to see the medicine in it. Try to be with the lessons as gifts. As opportunities for healing, for forgiveness, for surrender and for the discovery of our own resilience.

So I ask you: what lessons are showing up for you lately? This week? This year thus far?

What are you discovering about yourself? The world? Pain? Miracles? Your relationship with this spiritual journey we call life?

If you feel called, share with us in the comments below.

As Mercury joins Mars, Pluto, Saturn and Jupiter in Retrograde this week, we are asked to Surrender even more. To sloooowwwwwwwwww

to nap.
to breathe.
to release control.
to go in.

so try and do just that.
take a nap. take a bath. surrender.