A Conversation With A Bare-faced Rich Dad

Robert Kiyosaki might be a Rich Dad, but he's also a bare-faced mortal

An investor and financial literacy guru is known for founding the Rich Dad Poor Dad brand that's he has built into a series of seminars, games, and books, we caught up with him this week to chat about the sexually dynamic Mustached American lifestyle, how Mustached Americans can protect their wealth, and his neighbor in Hawaii, Tom Selleck.

Q: It's rare we grant interviews to non-Mustached Americans. You're welcome. Just saying.

Kiyosaki: Sir, you don't have to remind me about my challenges. I live with this bald-lipped shame every day. Thank you for honoring me with this interview.

Q: We produced a study in recent years that found Mustached Americans make more but also spend more. Why do you think this is?

Kiyosaki: A mustachioed man is a wild and powerful thing. He's gotta suck the marrow from life. He's gotta eat and drink and travel and live and LOVE DAMMIT!

A mustachioed man can't be expected to sit at home clipping coupons... I think you know that.

Q: Why do you not have a good-looking mustache?

Kiyosaki: My father was capable of growing a full, proud mustache. Unfortunately, my mother's mustache was very patchy and well... I seem to have gotten her genes.

Q: Isn't the ultimate Rich Dad, at least in the Mustached American community, actually Walter Cronkite?

Kiyosaki: Generally, we feel Einstein was our mustache "Rich Dad." He not only had an amazingly fertile upper lip, but he defined insanity as doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. It's like me trying to grow a mustache and suddenly thinking it will work this time. It's also like the person who thinks saving money will get him to financial freedom. IT'S NEVER WORKED.

Q: You grew up in Hawaii, home to one of the all-time-great mustaches, Magnum P.I. Did that have a profound effect on you growing up?

Kiyosaki: It did. Tom Selleck was actually my neighbor. He would constantly strut around in his short shorts and his beefy mustache while I hid my head in shame. I vowed to become rich just to make up for the insecurities he inflicted on me with that evilly-gorgeous mustache.

Q: And Higgins and TC? Forget it. Let's get back to business. What do Mustached Americans have to do to keep their fiduciary edge?

Kiyosaki: Mustached Americans are rebels, especially mustached women. To keep their fiduciary edge they must grab hold of their inner rebel, reject the lies of going to school, getting good grades, landing a safe secure job, and investing in a 401(k). They must learn to think for themselves and be brave enough to dream their own dreams and go out and get that dream!

Q: You once said that, "Confidence comes from discipline and training." Doesn't it also flow from a well-groomed cookie duster? Don't good looks play a role in financial management?

Kiyosaki: Of course good looks play a role! Quite frankly sir, mustaches are a source of power, power that can't be contained. You can't expect someone wielding that sort of power to shop at Walmart or drive a used Saturn. You can't expect them to wear a Timex watch or drink Budweiser. For a man with a mustache, luxury is a necessity. And luxury comes from a good financial education put into action.

Q: After this discussion, will you now consider a Mustached American lifestyle?

Kiyosaki: Yes, I am seriously considering starting the Mustached Club for Men. No longer will the upper-lipped challenged have to grow their nose hairs long in hopes of sporting a comb-over. See, that's what a financially educated man does, he spots opportunities and turns them into wealth. My bare lip will spur me to even greater wealth and opportunity!