Weddings

A Day In The Life Of A Professional Matchmaker

Talia Goldstein has made hundreds of matches during her matchmaking career. 💘
02/13/2018 03:58pm ET

Talia Goldstein officially started her matchmaking company Three Day Rule in 2010, but she’s been setting people up since she was in high school.

“I have always had both the curiosity and the audacity to ask anyone and everyone about their love life,” Goldstein told HuffPost.

Courtesy of Talia Goldstein
Goldstein's first match was a couple she paired together in high school who later got married.

While working as a producer for “E! True Hollywood Story” after college, the Orange County native earned the reputation of office matchmaker.

“Every day, people would show up at my cubicle to get dating advice,” she told HuffPost. “I loved dishing it out and matching them to the point where it was honestly questionable whether I thought my job at E! was producer or resident matchmaker.”

Courtesy of Talia Goldstein
Goldstein with her husband of eight years  and two kids, Max and Eloise.

Eventually, Goldstein quit her job and began offering matchmaking services and hosting singles events around Los Angeles. She eventually launched Three Day Rule, where she is currently the CEO and still does matchmaking for the company’s VIP clientele.

Courtesy of Talia Goldstein
A matchmaker is always on the clock. Three Day Rule has matchmakers in Los Angeles, New York, Orange County, San Francisco, Silicon Valley, Chicago, Boston, Washington, D.C., and Philadelphia.

So what exactly does Goldstein look for when making a match?

“Mainly, the intangibles,” she told HuffPost. “It’s way less about their hobbies and where they went to school and way more about the things you won’t find on paper ― their goals, their values, their relationship with their family. What they want out of life and out of a relationship. These are the things that keep people together when the going gets tough.”

Courtesy of Talia Goldstein
The company gets its name from an outdated dating rule that's mentioned in the movie "Swingers." According to said rule, a person should wait three days to contact a date after getting his or her phone number. For the record: "We don't actually believe in the rule!" Goldstein said. 

To get a better sense of what a pro matchmaker actually does, we asked Goldstein to give us an inside look at what a day in her life looks like. Read on to see what it entails.

6 a.m. to 8 a.m.

I wake up at 6 a.m. and immediately check my email. The rest of my family wakes up at 6:30 a.m. My husband watches our 2-year-old daughter, Eloise, while I get our 5-year old son, Max, ready for school. At 8 a.m., my husband takes Max to school and my nanny arrives to watch Eloise. Freedom.

Courtesy of Talia Goldstein
Goldstein and her son Max and daughter Eloise. 

8 a.m. to 9 a.m.

I make a cup of coffee and call my Director of Matchmaking in New York. It’s 11 a.m. EST so she typically has some client and date updates from the night before. Considering we’re both talkers, this call usually goes longer than I actually have time for, but c’est la vie. We talk everything from dates to the latest success stories to clients who are learning about themselves through the process.

9 a.m. to 10 a.m.

If I’m lucky, I hop onto my Peloton bike for 30 minutes and take Cody’s Groove class. It doesn’t happen every day but I do notice that on the days I make time for exercise, I feel so much better in every way. Between kids and work, I don’t have much time for workout classes so buying a Peloton bike was the best investment I ever made. Post workout I take a (quick) shower, throw on an easy dress (and flats ― definitely not heels) and I’m out the door.

Courtesy of Talia Goldstein
Goldstein at the Three Day Rule offices in Los Angeles with her daughter, Eloise.

10 a.m. to 12 p.m.

I head over to Rose Cafe in Venice to start my coffee meetings with potential matches for my clients. With each meeting, I am assessing if this person could be compatible with one of my clients. These meetings are no joke. We dig deep. I learn about their parents, their childhood, their exes (what worked, what didn’t), why they believe they are still single, their preferences and dealbreakers, and so much more. The goal of this meeting is for me to walk away with an understanding of who this person truly is and what kind of person would be well-suited for them. The meetings are informal and fun, like meeting up with an old friend, and usually by the end, we’re laughing and hugging ― after all, we’ve just dug pretty deep. I typically take two or three meetings back-to-back.

12 p.m. to 2 p.m.

I head into our office in West LA. I order Sweetgreen via Postmates and start making calls to clients who went on dates the night before. I am always dying to call everyone at 6 a.m. to find out how everything went but I play it cool and wait until noon. We go through their post-date feedback ― What did they like? What did they NOT like? How did he or she make you feel? Did you find yourself laughing? How did the date end?

Courtesy of Talia Goldstein
Goldstein with some of her LA matchmakers. 

2 p.m. to 4 p.m.

I take a couple of coffee meetings at my office. It’s important as a matchmaker to meet and vet potential matches in person. We’re essentially going on all of the bad first dates for our clients and only sending the best ones over. I might meet 10 potential matches before I send over one match to my client. Needless to say, I am addicted to coffee.

4 p.m. to 6 p.m.

CEO stuff. Lucky for me, “CEO stuff” still allows me to do what I love, just in a slightly different capacity. Since we’re headquartered here in LA, a lot of my matchmakers also take their meetings in the office, so I’ll sit in and shadow those and then powwow with the matchmakers after to collaborate on matching each of our clients.

6 p.m. to 8 p.m.

Some of the week, I am back on mom duty ― dinner, bath time and bedtime with my husband and kids. The other nights, I’m out on the town. I’m always out and about trying to meet great matches for my clients. If I know my client is into corporate men, I might crash a Bar Association event. If my client is into entrepreneurs, I may head to a Silicon Beach panel. If I’m just looking for some great fresh faces, I might just crash a happy hour on Abbot Kinney in Venice. A prerequisite of becoming a matchmaker is that you have to be absolutely shameless. You have to see everyone as a potential match ― at Whole Foods, at yoga, in the bathroom line. We once chased a guy from Chipotle all the way to his apartment to give him a card (in hindsight, that was probably illegal). Safe to say I don’t live your average “married with kids” life.

Courtesy of Talia Goldstein
Goldstein attends a networking event. 

9 p.m. to 11 p.m.

I finally unwind with either a book (currently reading Principles by Ray Dalio) or with one of my BFFs — Jimmy Fallon, Trevor Noah or Bill Maher. When I’m done, I bust out my earplugs and sleep mask and I’m gone.

Three Day Rule services start at $4,500 and include personalized matchmaking, date coaching, photography and optional styling. Visit the website for more information.

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