A Fan's Notes (The Sequel)

Quick -- can you tell me in 20 words or less whether Secretary of the Interior Ken Salazar favors an increase in off-shore drilling?

What about Secretary of Commerce Gary Locke -- where does he stand on loosening trade restrictions with China?

Truth is, both of these guys could do a better job tightening up their messages. The American people are a busy bunch. We need easy answers and zero nuance.

Salazar and Locke should definitely take a page from the playbook of Secretary of Education Arne Duncan. As the guy who once ran Chicago's schools, Duncan knows we're a nation of dummies.

That's undoubtedly why he goes to great lengths to explain to us in childlike terms exactly what drives him and his cash-rich Department of Education. It's 21st century messaging for the sports-talk radio crowd -- stuff that guys like "Car-phone Bob from Naperville" can get their arms around.

If you want to know what makes Arne tick, search Google for "Arne Duncan" and "fan." In less than a second, you'll have your answer.

Here's a little taste:

And there you have it, folks. But right now, let's pause for a 90-second commercial break here at KFAN while we give John Dewey another opportunity to roll over in his grave.