A Farewell Card for Karl Rove, Signed by His Former Employers

You won't have old Karl to kick around anymore! When he and Bush boarded Air Force One together this morning, all that was missing was the dramatic Nixonian "I'm outta here" two-armed wave.

Rove was the ugliest man in "Hollywood for Ugly People" (D.C.). I wonder if he would be hated so much if he were not so ugly. I guess we'll never know. All I know is, to the extent that he "gave" us George W. Bush, the last seven nightmarish years are all his fault.

I don't know what else to say.

But America's comment-leavers do! I've collected a few choice comments from some of my haunts on the Internets, and pasted them all together here in a big farewell e-card to Karl Rove! Enjoy, and thanks to all those who put into words what needed to be said.

From CNN.com, some snark:

Karl Rove is not only a true American Hero, but also a true American War Hero. His contributions to the USA are well beyond any American President or any other historical figure for that matter. I would have to seriously question the patriotism of anyone that disputes these facts.

From Wonkette, a good working conspiracy theory:

It's all about working on trashing Dem candidates' campaigns and not having any pesky White House recordkeeping rules. Believe the worst, and you'll probably be at the edge of the ballpark.

...and a debunking of the "historical significance" of Karl:

Thank God Americans care nothing for history and this asshole will soon be forgotten.

From TalkLeft:

THEY WERE CRYING ON AIR FORCE ONE! After all America has been through, hurricane Katrina, the Iraq nightmare, the desecration of the Constitution, and this is what they cry over. Typical!

From TPM Muckraker:

The Undead don't have families to spend more time with.

From Washington Monthly's Political Animal:

On the upside, his desperately-needs-to-be-smacked fat little face will no longer be smirking at us from the TV screen. That was always one of the worst parts about Rove stories: having to see the file footage of him. Couldn't they have shown something comparatively benign, like a mushroom cloud?

...and this gem:

actually, he quit to spend more time with his pet scorpion.

From the Washington Post, some sympathy for George W. Bush:

Poor Bush never had a chance. Between Rove and Cheney, his Presidency was doomed before it began. A perfect example of how careful one needs to be when choosing friends and partners. .... Perhaps Bush without his "brain" will finally become something resembling a member of the human race.

...and some assignation of guilt:

I am sad he can smile... he has left a lot of parents & wives, of dead soldiers, nothing to smile about...

...and a reminder of his budding hip-hop career along with a suggested stage name:

the last greatest international gansta rapper steps down. wow what a great moment in history. the notorious P.I.G. is retiring.

...and a guess about the wonderful book he will write:

"IF I DID IT" The story of Rove's role in the Libby and Gonzales scandals. Due to be published January 20, 2009.

...and a tortured simile:

Rove is like a fat cow with explosive diarrhea. He's gone but the damage he's done will linger like the stench of cow manure.

...and someone pointing out the logical flaw in his "spend more time with the family" reason for leaving:

Yep, when i went off to college, that was what i wanted...my dad to quit his job so he could spend more time with me...huh???????

...and even a question about Rove�s sexual orientation:

I was sure that he was the wife.

...and finally, a succinct comment in response to the article's headline, "Karl Rove, Advisor to Bush, to Resign":