Rep. Aaron Schock (R-Ill.) distinguished himself during a short, meteoric career in Congress by, among other, decorating his Capitol Hill office in a "Downton-Abbeyish" style the Sultan of Brunei would have killed for and by driving the only car in town with a cantankerous odometer that registers only half-a-mile of travel for every mile allegedly claimed for reimbursement.
On Thursday, Schock -- fresh from the covers of The Harvard Lampoon and Men's Health -- took time out of his busy House gym schedule to deliver an emotional farewell speech before a packed House
The speech was in some respects reminiscent of General Douglas MacArthur's farewell address ("young congressmen never die; they just fade away, temporarily") but also had the qualities of Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address.
And indeed, the young Representative humbly compared his life and career to that of the man who, some eight score and thirteen years ago, had the foresight to bequeath his seat to Schock -- albeit only for one term.
While Schock's address was punctuated by frequent applause, he received the longest standing ovation from his Republican colleagues when he said that his only regret is that he will not be in the House when it repeals Obamacare, abolishes the IRS and eliminates food stamps.
With that, Schock yielded back the balance of his time.
This post is political satire