A Few Political Prognostications

A Few Political Prognostications
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The Democrats win the House and Senate in 2018. Nancy Pelosi becomes Speaker.

Paul Ryan is resoundingly defeated, gets sick and applies for Obamacare.

During his impeachment trial, Trump is forced to reveal his tax returns which show that his net profit for 2015 was $334.69.

Trump and Pence are impeached and resign. Pelosi becomes President.

The Deplorables rise up in anger but mostly just shoot themselves by accident and go home.

Pelosi appoints Hillary Clinton as her Veep. Pelosi promptly resigns. Hillary becomes President.

Trump is tried and found guilty of collusion. His sentence is to not speak for ten years while he resides in a playpen and attends kindergarten where he must memorize the Koran.

Broke and desperate, Ivanka and Melania get jobs modeling fishing gear for “Field and Stream.”

Found guilty of anti-Semitic hate crimes, Richard Spencer receives a sentence that requires him to learn Yiddish, watch "Schindler's List" twice a day for six years while eating matzoh ball soup.

Clarence Thomas wakes up from a six year slumber, resigns and is replaced by Barack Obama.

Somebody notices that Ben Carson has been dead for three years.

Kushner, Manafort and Flynn go to federal prison. Flynn and Manafort spend a lot of time on their knees. Kushner does not take a shower for a year.

Kellyanne gets an extreme makeover and still looks like a witch

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