Hey Stephanie. How are you feeling? You’re lost, right? I remember that. I know you’re wondering if anyone is paying attention to what happening to you. I know the thoughts you have are so consuming and that they feel like they’re suffocating you. You won’t let them. They will slow down in time. I know you feel alone, and in some ways you are, but you are going to be surprised that there are people around you who are paying attention.
Some of them are listening more intently than you’re currently giving them credit for but that is ok. The good ones, the ones that care, they will be around in twenty years.
It is going to take you a long time to come forward but doesn't worry; you will do it on your terms. I know that right now you’re afraid of what will happen. You keep your bedroom door locked every night, and sometimes you sneak out of your bedroom window to escape, and that is ok too. You will survive this. I know you are looking to others to rescue you, and they are not coming right out and offering help, but they’re listening to you. They know, they just don’t know how to ask if what they think is happening is correct. They are convincing themselves that their minds are playing tricks on them. What is happening to you is not normal, no matter what he tells you. This is not how he is supposed to show you, love.
When you do come forward you will find out that you are not alone, there are more like you. You are not the first, and sadly you weren’t the last. And that is ok too. You’re going to get through this. You will survive.
Not everyone will believe you, but you do not owe them anything. You know the truth. And luckily for you, there will be a group of nine men and women who will believe you. It is going to take a long time to meet them but you will, and it will be a painful process when you do get there. They will be your voice because even when you get there, you will still feel like he stole yours.
I know you’re wondering if you will ever feel normal again. I am sorry to tell you that you won’t. But, you will feel ok. You will eventually accept what happened to you and then you will rebuild.
You will be a survivor. Not a victim. I know you say that to yourself often and even in twenty years, you will refuse to call yourself a victim. He may have taken something from you but you survived it, and you are ok.
One day you will wake up, and you will know that he is gone because of your voice because you were not ok with pretending it didn’t happen. You sat in countless conversations with strangers and told them what happened, and they listened to you and they took action to bring your voice back. You will know that he is no longer a threat to others and that your voice was heard and you protected others, just like you.
It will not be easy but you will be ok, and you will survive it.
Twenty-two years have gone by since the first time he hurt us. We survived it. And we are stronger now.
But our fight will never be over because our story is just one of many. We will be ok because we are survivors. Justice has been served for us, but others will not be so lucky.
So, if there is one thing that I could relay to you from the future it’s this - you are not at fault, you are going to be ok, and more importantly, you are not alone.
Unlock your bedroom door and come out. Because in the future, you will be seen and heard.