“I don’t want to freak you out, but I think I may be the voice of my generation. Or at least a voice. Of a generation.” – Hannah
“I have work and then I have a dinner thing, and then I am busy trying to become who I am.” – Hannah
**
“Everyone’s a dumb whore” – Shoshanna
“I don’t even want a boyfriend. I just want someone who wants to hang out all the time, and thinks I’m the best person in the world, and wants to have sex with only me.” – Hannah
**
“I’m so happy to see you I could murder you.” – Shoshanna
“No one could ever hate me as much as I hate myself, okay? So any mean thing someone’s gonna think of to say about me, I’ve already said to me, about me, probably in the last half hour!” – Hannah
“Sometimes being stuck in my own head is so exhausting it makes me want to cry.” – Marnie
“I feel like my bandana collection is my most developed collection. I mean my array of bandanas is insane.” – Shoshanna
**
“I’m gonna go now, your dad is gay.” – Elijah
“Jessa has HPV, like a couple of different strains of it. She says that all adventurous women do.” – Shoshanna
**
“I’m not the ladies.” - Jessa “Yeah, you’re the ladies... I’m a lady, she’s a lady, you’re a lady, WE’RE THE LADIES.” – Shoshanna
“I am 13 pounds overweight and it has been so awful for me my whole life.”– Hannah
“My only limitation is my own mind. Like, I hold the keys to the prison that is my mind.” – Hannah
**
“I’ve been known to dabble in the Macintosh arts.” – Ray
“She keeps saying she has news, but I bet she just wrote a blog post or found a new hot dog or something.” – Marnie
**
“It’s a Wednesday night baby and I’m alive!” – Hannah
“Let’s have the type of night where it’s 5 am and one of us has definitely punched someone who’s been on a Disney channel show.” – Elijah
“I just thing women get stuck in this vortex of guilt and jealously and each other that keeps them from seeing situations clearly.” – Adam
“Ok, now you sound like one of those guys who thinks a woman should never be President because her menstruation will cloud her judgment.” – Hannah
**
“Like, I am woman, hear me roar. You know what I mean? Like I may be deflowered, but I am not devalued.” – Shoshanna
“Yeah, I feel like that wasn’t as re-tweeted as it should have been, so I appreciate the support.”– Hannah
**
“I will never be bored as long as there’s Halloween.” – Shoshanna
“It’s really liberating to say no to sh*t you hate.” – Hannah
**
“Ray really seems to have the respect of his peers on the court.” – Shoshanna
“That’s amazing. It’s really hard for a Jew to gain respect in sports.” – Jessa
**
“I have a job to do now. I’m trying to focus. I’m not here to fill up your life with f**king stories for your f**king Twitter.” – Adam
“I’ll have a bunch of party pictures that I can post to Instagram. Because I know he checks it ... He f**king checks it.” – Marnie
**
“I finished my degree. And now I’m just in the world, trying to get ‘er done.” – Shoshanna
**
“I don’t hate your friends, I’m just not interested in anything they have to say.” – Adam
“What do Judy Garland and Lady Gaga have in common?” – Elijah
“They’re both white?” – Marnie
“No, they’re both bad bitches who don’t give a f**k what people think.” – Elijah
**
“By the way, TMI is such an outdated concept. There’s no such thing as too much information, this is the information age!” – Hannah
**
“Your voice is great. It’s Katy Perry great.” – Ray
“She’s always been one of my heroes, because she is such a strong woman struggling so nobly with her very curly hair.” – Shoshanna on Chelsea Clinton
**
“Friends do not let other friends buy underwear in Forest Hills.” – Shoshanna
“You’re so selfish that when we lived together you put the fire extinguisher in your own bedroom so that you could have access to it first.” – Marnie
**
“I’m a hateable kind of person. I don’t know why, I can’t help it, maybe it’s because I have a big ass and good hair.” – Jessa
**
“I’ve been eating Bugles my whole life, and I still don’t know if I even like them, it’s just something to do.” – Hannah
“And then this lady in a corset asked me if I was one of Ralph Lauren’s adopted male model sons.”– Elijah
“Ralph doesn’t have any adopted sons.”– Dill
“I know, that’s why I’m sticking with my story that I’m one of them.” – Elijah
**
“I’m sorry, I’ve been a little too busy Yelp’ing divorce lawyers to worry about the sex lives of our second-tier friends.” – Marnie
“First of all, maybe I am a shiny star at the company because even though I’ve only been here for a very short while, I truly feel like this is my home and you people are my family. And I don’t even really care about people in America anymore. But second of all, I also kind of have a boyfriend. And third of all, he’s my boss, and Sheryl Sandberg would fucking kill me.” – Shoshanna
**
“I have to go, Hannah’s having a gay emergency with her gay dad.” – Elijah
**
“I give zero fucks about anything yet I have strong opinions about everything, even topics I’m uniformed on.” – Hannah
“I just don’t understand why you would want to leave New York, okay? That’s like something your family makes you do when you’re too deep into crack to stop them. It’s not something that a young, vibrant, albeit pregnant, person does.” – Elijah
**
“I bet none of my ancestors were even in the Wild West! Half my fucking wedding theme is a lie!” – Marni
“Ray broke up with me. Can you believe it?”– Marnie
“Kind of, yeah. I mean, you’re, like, a horrible cunt to him, so…” – Hannah
**
“Mom, you cannot run away like that, okay? This is Brooklyn. It’s one of the most dangerous places in America. You don’t know the terrain. You’re not Lil’ Kim.” – Hannah
“Hey! What about the party?” – Hannah
“Eh, it was total bullshit. It was just a bunch of old gays being like, ‘Oh, I’m so busy during the week, I can only do uppers on the weekends.’ Oh, well, good for you, Anthony!” – Elijah
**
“I shut down? I gave up? Do you have any idea how hard this has been for me? I have bruises all over my body from the two-hour massages that I need to deal with the stress of your addiction.” – Marnie
**
“You are so bad at knowing when people are high. Do you remember that time I drank sizzurp and you thought I had senioritis?”– Hannah to Marnie
**
“We were all just doing our best, so.” – Hannah
“Our best was awful.” – Jessa
“Why are you’re yelling at me when I’m in emotional pain?” – Hannah
“You know who else is in emotional pain? F**KING EVERYONE!” – Loreen
