There came a point in my life where I had to ask myself
How much more can my body take?
The pressure and the endless abuse.
You see, I was abusing my body by living a very unhealthy lifestyle.
Even though at the time I knew nothing about lifestyle being a choice. I was going nowhere; dropped out of school, I had no real direction, I was physically a hot mess and way too young for the health problems I was having.
You wouldn't have known this by looking at me. I always greeted everyone with
a big smile and a vivacious attitude, as I was tremendously skilled at hiding the pain and sadness.
As women we are notorious for taking on so much more than we can handle. It's not conscious, it just becomes our realities and this became mine at a very young age.
I found myself always wanting to make things right for everyone in my family. I needed to make sure everyone else was happy and all their problems were solved.
There were no boundaries to who I would be willing to lend a helping hand to. I found myself just being there for people and then happily picking up and carrying all their baggage. I had to, I needed to, after all that is what made me valuable. The thing was I had a whole lot of baggage myself, who was carrying mine?
Then one day I started vomiting blood as I doubled over in stomach pain. I clearly remember exclaiming out loud, "ENOUGH!" And that day made a doctor's appointment.
I didn't want to die young or even worse live a sick and limited life. I wanted a do-over!
I suddenly realized I had a responsibility in all of this! This was a very sobering thought indeed. The thing is I didn't know how to stop it, how do you stop a vicious cycle of madness when you are smack in the middle of it. I felt trapped. Trapped in my own sick body and trapped by own destructive thoughts of not being worth the effort it would take.
I took the time to sit quietly with myself and I knew if anything were to change it had to start with me. Yes, only I could do this for myself. I would need to place my full attention on me and place my needs as equally or dare I say as more important than the needs of others. This would not be easy though; it was ingrained in me from a very young age as a woman, you were last. This was honorable; this is what made you valuable and desirable.
I became determined however to change this ideology. Not just for me, but for others alike and one day my beautiful daughter. I prayed for a second chance...the chance to take charge of my life and regain my health. I vowed in return I would show my body the honor it deserved.
It was about this time I met my love. It was amazing and intriguing that he seemed to like me just the way I was. It seemed my prayers had been answered.
But how could that be? I had already deemed myself unlovable. I will just say this man introduced me to a whole new way of caring for myself. Rather than beating my body into submission, he taught me to just start focusing on being healthier and LIVING healthier. Ah, the light bulb moment; you choose your lifestyle. And not just with food, but your whole approach to life.
After many months of introducing new foods and eliminating others, trying a couple of different cleanses I was feeling wonderful. The weight was coming off, my body was reshaping but most of all my health was improving. There was still a long way to go, but I liked what was happening.
I had been given that second chance and I took it!
I wholeheartedly delved into nutrition and a holistic approach to healing the body. I was on a mission to take control of my life and set a positive example of what was possible when we nourish our bodies and minds.
I lost 50lbs, I have fallen in love with myself. Admittedly,
I will always be a work in progress, but I have come to realize as women we are forever evolving and changing and therefore new approaches are often needed.
I want to help other women who are hungry for a positive shift in their own life. I've received so many lovely comments from those who knew me when I was in my teens. Their sentiments indicate the changes they see in me are not just physical. This makes me so happy, because I know I exude a different attitude and strength that is evident for all to see.
I understand now everyone is different and that breaking point for each woman is different. I am happy I was still young when I reached mine. It was perfect timing in my life to take a new direction. I learned I could either stay down or rise. Rise from within... there was a luminous life waiting to be lived.
Here are a few practices that played a major role to my success.
1. Look in the mirror and give thanks for the beautiful body and mind you have been blessed with. Rather than find all my flaws and hate on yourself (my old practice)
2. Realize that your physical health is connected to your emotional health.
3. Declared loud and proud "My life is a drama free zone".
4. Create clear boundaries as to what problems to allow into your personal space.
(Be vocal if need be.)
There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.
I bear my story with you; to learn, share and grow. I never would have had the opportunities I have been given If I didn't make choice to decide to truly start living.