I recently received a campaign message from Kansas Senator Sam Brownback.
Below, please find the email [accompanied by my interpretation of what it's really saying].
Dear friend [with the exception of Jews, Muslims, atheists, homosexuals, and liberals],
In January, in my home state of Kansas, I announced my candidacy for President of the United States. I feel a real calling to serve our country at this important time [so I can further the goals of the religious right and multinational corporations].
Our way of life is threatened by Islamic fascism [who are gathering in Kansas City nightclubs plotting our imminent destruction]. We call it "terrorism" [or Communism or anarchism or whatever -ism is meant to scare you into giving me money], but that's their tactic. We know who we are fighting - a militarized version of Islam that seeks to destroy Israel and spread their religion by the edge of a sword [not by guns, of course. We use guns; but those 'primitive-minded' people use swords and knives and rocks]. September 11th was not the first time they attacked us, but it seemed to awaken the nation to this worldwide threat. We must confront them and defeat them [like we are doing so successfully in Iraq]. This is the battle of our age [just like The Crusades, something to really aspire to].
We will be in this fight for some time [in '1984', George Orwell called this "perpetual" or "ongoing war" - "simply a fact of life that enables the ruling powers to keep the masses ignorant of life in other places"]. Considering we have a grave external threat, now is not the time for our inner core to be threatened - though it is. [Get ready to tie the treat of Islamic terrorism with our need for religious fundamentalism; this, of course, is not a paradox.]
I speak often about faith and family [but never criticizing members of my fellow Republican party, i.e. Sen. John McCain (affair, divorce), former House Speaker Newt Gingrich (affair, divorce), and former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani (divorce, affair, divorce]. These are issues that are dear to my heart. People ask why I am running, and I say simply, "To restore the family and renew the culture" ["culture" meaning, not in the Websters dictionary definition, such as "the act of developing the intellectual and moral faculties especially by education," but culture as a religion-based oppressive moral code]. These core issues at times can be difficult to talk about because so many on the Left are on the opposite side [the side of those Islamic fascists, of course]. But we must discuss these issues. I raise them at every campaign stop all over the country.
Life is a precious gift that deserves protection [pro-abortion rights activists are devil-worshipping heathens who should be shunned and/or converted]. Traditional marriage is a sacred union that deserves defending [homosexuals are devil-worshipping heathens who should be shunned and/or converted]. "One nation, under God" is a wonderful line that we should celebrate, rather than litigate. [And force our children to say every day at school, thereby indoctrinating them against our eternal war with those who don't believe in our God.] This is not the time for our country to walk away from God. Separation of church and state does not mean removal of faith from the public square. [It's just when the founding fathers of America such as Thomas Jefferson and James Madison wrote about a "total separation of the church from the state," they didn't really mean it.]
Yet, too often, our nation's leaders are afraid to stand up to the enemies of faith and freedom [meaning Democrats]. That's why the 2008 election is so very important. Look at the debate over life. One side has Hillary Clinton who is proudly pro-choice. The other side has Mitt Romney, who was once - and I think very accurately -- described as "multiple-choice." On the other hand, I would love to be the President who appointed the Justice to the Supreme Court that was the deciding vote in overturning Roe v. Wade [and make unsafe back-street abortions the norm for millions of American women!].
I hope you will join me in this effort to renew our culture [destroy separation of church and state] by embracing faith as a good thing. In less than two months, the media will be watching the Iowa Republican Straw Poll. I am competing there and need your help [lots of money]. Our campaign has over 35 of the most dedicated, full-time volunteers. We provide their housing, a food stipend, and their cell phone. Every single day they are recruiting more volunteers and identifying voters. They are the ground troops [ready to combat atheists, terrorists and homosexuals] who talk about family, faith, and freedom each and every day. Will you support their efforts? ...
We need your help; and most of all your prayers [but mostly your money]. Will you join me in this effort to renew the culture [i.e. the Christian theocracy] of our great nation?
May God bless you and continue to bless the United States.
Sincerely,
Sam Brownback