December is usually filled with holiday cheer and laughter, hot cocoa by the fire, Christmas tree trimming, and anxious children awaiting Santa’s arrival. This year however, December has brought my family some unwanted, and unpleasant, gifts. So, to try and get back into the holiday spirit, here is a more realistic rendition of the “Twelve Days of Christmas.”
Holiday Cheer
On the first day of Christmas my mini-humans sent to me, a stomach bug so fierce it almost killed me.
On the second day of Christmas my mini-humans sent to me, two days of hives, and a stomach bug so fierce it almost killed me.
On the third day of Christmas my mini-humans sent to me, three sleepless nights, two days of hives, and a stomach bug so fierce it almost killed me.
On the fourth day of Christmas my mini-humans sent to me, four failed medicine attempts, three sleepless nights, two days of hives, and a stomach bug so fierce it almost killed me.
On the fifth day of Christmas my mini-humans sent to me, five days of Azithromycin, four failed medicine attempts, three sleepless nights, two days of hives, and a stomach bug so fierce it almost killed me.
On the sixth day of Christmas my mini-humans sent to me, six foul diapers, five days of Azithromycin, four failed medicine attempts, three sleepless nights, two days of hives, and a stomach bug so fierce it almost killed me.
On the seventh day of Christmas my mini-humans sent to me, seven snot-wiping tissues, six foul diapers, five days of Azithromycin, four failed medicine attempts, three sleepless nights, two days of hives, and a stomach bug so fierce it almost killed me.
On the eighth day of Christmas my mini-humans sent to me, eight (+) days of coughing, seven snot-wiping tissues, six foul diapers, five days of Azithromycin, four failed medicine attempts, three sleepless nights, two days of hives, and a stomach bug so fierce it almost killed me.
On the ninth day of Christmas my mini-humans sent to me, nine nurses prodding, eight (+) days of coughing, seven snot-wiping tissues, six foul diapers, five days of Azithromycin, four failed medicine attempts, three sleepless nights, two days of hives, and a stomach bug so fierce it almost killed me.
On the tenth day of Christmas my mini-humans sent to me, ten days of snuggles, nine nurses prodding, eight (+) days of coughing, seven snot-wiping tissues, six foul diapers, five days of Azithromycin, four failed medicine attempts, three sleepless nights, two days of a hives, and a stomach bug so fierce it almost killed me.
10 Days of Snuggles
On the eleventh day of Christmas my mini-humans sent to me, eleven glasses of Pinot (not all in one sitting), ten days of snuggles, nine nurses prodding, eight (+) days of coughing, seven snot-wiping tissues, six foul diapers, five days of Azithromycin, four failed medicine attempts, three sleepless nights, two days of hives, and a stomach bug so fierce it almost killed me.
On the twelfth day of Christmas my mini-humans sent to me, twelve minutes of privacy and a flu shot to try and save me, eleven glasses of Pinot , ten days of snuggles, nine nurses prodding, eight (+) days of coughing, seven snot-wiping tissues, six foul diapers, five days of Azithromycin, four failed medicine attempts, three sleepless nights, two days of hives, and a stomach bug so fierce it almost killed me.
A happy and healthy holiday season to you and yours!