A Nihilist's Guide To Gratitude

This week the eminent New York Times in-house philosopher David Brooks laments that he is “sometimes grumpier when [he] stay[s] at a nice hotel,” as compared with a “budget hotel” where even “the waffle maker in the breakfast area is a treat.”

Brooks has said many contentious things in his tenure with the Times, but the insinuation that a waffle maker is ever not a treat is a moment that will mar his career with particular shame. A waffle iron turns goo into a hot waffle that can be covered in sugar and stuffed in your mouth in minutes. You just pour in a personal serving of liquefied white flour, and then there is a buzzer, and then you flip the waffle iron over, and it works consistently and predictably. A waffle iron is always a treat and demands to be regarded accordingly.