A Not-Even-Close-To-Complete List Of Things I Hate About Donald Trump

We need a 12-step recovery program for all the newly minted haters, including me.
U.S. Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump speaks at a campaign rally in Pueblo, Colorado, U.S., October 3, 2016
U.S. Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump speaks at a campaign rally in Pueblo, Colorado, U.S., October 3, 2016
Mike Segar / Reuters

I am suffering from Election Fatigue. I’ve had enough and can’t listen or watch too much more without thinking that civilization as we know it is ending. And yes, I blame Donald Trump and his band of GOP merry pranksters. Like every other person at the water cooler from which I drink, I keep thinking he can’t get any worse and then he does. Here are just some of low moments I wish I could unsee.

I hate when Mr. Apricot Face kept doing that stalker-pacing-creepy thing behind Hillary Clinton in the second debate.

I want someone to teach Stalker Man that what he dismisses as “locker room talk” is sickening and offensive.

How do you shrug off a man who brags about sexually assaulting women in the most vulgar of terms and who, in the next breath, says, “Oh, nevermind that. Let’s talk about ISIS instead.” Yeah, let’s talk about ISIS. Why should we be afraid of terrorists when we have you, Donnie Boy?

I hate how he apologizes without apologizing.

It’s really all Clinton’s fault, you know. Everything. ISIS, the deleted emails, Benghazi, the economy, the failure to cure cancer and why your dog just had an accident in the house. Blame Clinton. Blame her for all of it. Other than being a young childish 59-year-old man who was caught on tape saying how his fame and celebrity has made it so easy for him to “grab pussy” ― actually, there is no other than that.

Alec Baldwin is a better Trump than Trump. Start around minute 2.

I hate how he lies about everything.

It’s actually pathologic. He was against the war, for the war, against the war, and he’ll fix everything just ask Sean Hannity. Huh? Liar, liar, pants on fire.

I hate the hatred that spews from that mouth.

I hate how he makes Latinos and Muslims feel unsafe, unwelcome and targeted. I hate his fence, the one that Mexico is not going to pay for. I hate his plan to round up people because of their race or color or ethnicity. I hate that he wants to close our borders to refugees ― to anyone, I suspect, who isn’t a white male. I hate how he slut-shames, body-shames, fat-shames. He mocks the disabled, insults our military families, and thinks he’s smart because he doesn’t pay taxes ― which by the way is supporting the government he hopes to lead. But mostly I hate that he shows his ugliness at every opportunity.

I seriously hate how he has unleashed haters.

He has made it OK to demean women, blame immigrants, mock the disabled, make physical threats against those who disagree. He incites his supporters to violence; they are as crude as their leader.

Here’s a missive one of his supporters just sent me on Facebook Messenger about this story I wrote:

“You stupid liberal bitch. It’s called a ‘loss carryover’ if you knew accounting. You’re damn right, you take a $916 million loss in one year and you won’t have to pay taxes for years to come. Nothing illegal about it. You shouldn’t have to pay taxes, you misleading bias libtard. You’re about as stupid as they come and you write political articles for a paycheck. Go fuck yourself. Get a nose job while you’re at it.”

It was from someone I don’t know and sent under the name of Jeff Tucker. If he’s a pal of yours, please tell him I happen to like my Semitic nose just the way it is. In the meantime, check out some of the more than 100 comments on Facebook when I posted what he wrote there.

I hate how he grabbed his daughter like a piece of ass, which incidentally is precisely what he called her on The Howard Stern Show a few days ago.

Go ahead, tell me what his hand was doing there. And why isn’t she mouthing “Daddy dearest, get your filthy paws off me.”

Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump greets his daughter Ivanka after she delivered a speech on the final night of the Republican National Convention.
Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump greets his daughter Ivanka after she delivered a speech on the final night of the Republican National Convention.
JIM WATSON/AFP/Getty Images)

I hate how he tweets about sex tapes at 2:30 a.m.

And then denies it.

Must have been a universal group hallucination, that tweet.

Also, what’s with “Crooked” Hillary and “disgusting” Alicia? Sticks and stones, Mr. Wanna-Be President, sticks and stones.

I hate how he calls people fat or ugly ― the standards by which he assesses their value.

Are all the mirrors in his house covered? Has he shown an ounce of empathy for anyone or does he just gets off screaming “Loser!” and “You’re fired!” at those who dare to disagree with him.

I hate how he doesn’t answer questions in all but the vaguest terms because we must all be simpletons.

He’s great, people love him, no one is smarter, no one is better, and that’s how he’ll get things done. He has a plan; it’s a great plan; it’s the best plan ever and you will all love his great plan because, like him, it’s great. Just like eating cotton candy: You bite into it thinking it’s solid only to have it dissolve in your mouth into nothingness.

I hate that I can no longer look at a pumpkin without thinking of him.

There goes Halloween ― although if by some remote chance the United States elects this buffoon, things could still get plenty scary.

But mostly, I hate that he’s made me hate this much.

Hoping there will be a recovery program for those who learned to hate during this campaign.

Editor’s note: Donald Trump regularly incites political violence and is a serial liar, rampant xenophobe, racist, misogynist and birther who has repeatedly pledged to ban all Muslims — 1.6 billion members of an entire religion — from entering the U.S.

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