Twelve years ago, 20 of my chosen family members stood crowded around me at Reagan National Airport, carrying balloons and hearts brimming over with loving anticipation. They cried with me as my two-and-a-half-year-old son, Gonzalo, waddled down the Guatemalan arrival gate into the loving arms of his forever family.
A common heartbreak with toddler adoption is witnessing the child standing by the front door wanting to go back to the only places and faces he or she knows; Zalo would have none of that. Before bedtime, he claimed ownership of his home—his casa, his perro, his cama, his raucously loud carro and his papa. He never looked back.
Ten days later his biological six-month old sister, Kira, repeated the journey. This girl took in my tribe with wide dark eyes that stared a hole right through you. She was sweet and calm, but she always stared at any stranger with the same intensity.
Six months later I finally realized she had decided to claim her own daughter identity when she would not allow me to leave her in the church nursery. In her own way, she embraced papa. She still doesn’t like change.
Now, bright, active, loving teenagers, they have changed my life more than I changed theirs. I will never be the same.
Regardless of your journey to parenthood—birth, adoption, foster care, kinship care—once we decide to parent a child we become part of a tribe, the tribe of parents.
Despite whatever identities we may have—the color of our skin, the proud ethnicity we claim, the language spoken in our home, the status of our citizenship, our sexual orientation or gender identity, the age of our children, or our socioeconomic status in our community—we share a common bond.
We are parents and we are committed to doing everything we can to ensure our children’s success. We teach our children responsibility, sit for hours at swim meets, cart books to the summer book swap, fill out FAFSA forms or try to remember what an isosceles triangle is and how to spell it.
We soon learn that our child’s success is tied to the success of every child. Keeping every child safe keeps my child safe. Making sure their school has the resources it needs helps my child and every child learn.
Journalist Jane Howard said, “Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.” We need a nurturing community for our children to learn, grow and thrive.
Some of us are fortunate to grow up in one of the 24,000 communities where there are PTAs—parents, families, teachers, administrators and business and community leaders—dedicated to supporting all children and schools in achieving success.
There is only one PTA—with nearly four million members—and we are the largest, oldest and most influential child advocacy group in the country. At PTA, we believe in the promise of every young child’s life. We believe intentionality as parents leads to better outcomes for all children. We believe that public education is the gateway for equity and advancement.
A sea of divergent voices can never accomplish what one unified voice can. As parents, we represent the primary consumers of the public education system, our children. We should be involved in the design, delivery, evaluation and improvement of all aspects of public education.
It’s been said that the most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any. Claim your voice and claim your power. This important work defending public education and making sure that every child’s potential becomes a reality requires our best every day.
And that is what I believe. What do you believe?