A Poem About Losing Custody

Shock and surprise, in the blink of an eye. I'm still a kid myself! This twenty year old guy.
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Shock and surprise,
in the blink of an eye.
I'm still a kid myself!
This twenty year old guy.

Being a father
to another human being,
living a simple life
of wiping and cleaning.

Every other weekend
she'd spend with her mom.
I was a full-time dad,
a damn lucky one.

Definitely scared,
not sure what to do.
I got the hang of it
as day one turned to day two.

Friends are going out
to celebrate a birth.
I'm staying in tonight
to change more diapers.

She is my Kiddo,
my first love of my life.
The only thing she asked
was for a little of my time.

Seven years later
she'd go live with her mom.
Losing custody of your kid
is an emotional bomb.

It felt like I'd lost
everything I had.
To lose the opportunity
of being a good dad.

Months would go by
I was only to blame.
I started hating myself
by guilt and the shame.

People would ask me
"Hey, what happened to Gen?"
I was forced to lie
to protect the last thread within.

And when I look back
now being 12 years older,
I've forgiven myself
for this bipolar disorder.

As time moved on,
almost five years to the day,
humility converted
into a new humble strength.

Regardless of how
who what why or when,
if you have the time
you must give it to them.

The first seven years
was perfect and meant to be.
It solidified our relationship,
nothing can come in-between.

So invest your time,
be present and persistent;
My promise to you:
It's a solid investment.

Don't ever give up,
and don't be discouraged.
It may be hard right now
but one day it'll be worth it.

And even in the times
of feeling downer than down,
what saved our relationship
was simply being around.

Originally posted at Full-Time Daddy

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