A Semi-Modest Proposal

I've watched 22 SAG nominated films this month, and I've come to the conclusion that instead of casting women in most studio releases, they should use life sized cardboard cutouts instead of real women. These flat cardboard women would have one of two expressions on their face
1. A supportive, proud and/or loving smile.
2. concern.

Amy Ryan's character in Bridge of Spies could have been played by a pair of cutouts.
Diane Lane's character in Trumbo could have been played by cutouts.
All of the women in The Revenant should have been played by cardboard cutouts.

These life sized paper dolls, could save the studio so much money. Besides not adhering to an 8 hour workday (the cutouts could work unlimited hours), they wouldn't have to pay for a stand-in when the film crew is lighting a scene. They'd also save money on trailers, food and personal assistants.

When you think of the typical Hollywood studio movie, there's usually only one or two small female roles anyway. It makes no sense allowing our little girls to harbor dreams of movie stardom. Let's legislate and/or outlaw American women from films entirely.

There's a caveat, because British women have a completely different system and outcome . . . Judi Dench, Maggie Smith, Helen Mirren, Charlotte Rampling, I could go on, but you get the picture.

There's really nothing we can do about the Brits, or any of the European's for that matter. They insist on allowing their women to age onscreen and play a wide variety of parts. Fortunately these foreign (arthouse) type films aren't usually seen by the average American. Grown men blanch at the thought of subtitles. Let's leave them to their egalitarian ways.

Cardboard cutouts is what America needs.

testPromoTitleReplace testPromoDekReplace Join HuffPost Today! No thanks.