Occasionally I ask myself if we adults are doing enough for the young people. In these times of rapid changes, of uncertainty and events that seem to destabilize our lives can we really listen to them? Are we capable of answering their questions and do they need exceptional answers? They are watching us, but do we know who we are in their eyes?
They are our third millennium's boys and girls ready to enter into public life, but their transition to adulthood lacks the holding environment in the Winnicottian sense, where they are contained and experienced. The existential precariousness of their present mortgages their future.
We adults are often said to be inconsistent with poor recall of memories, in our defence I must say that a general flattening and a secularization process have undermined the connective tissue of our society - a system of values, beliefs and rites capable of arousing strong solidarity ties.
What's sure is that nothing grows from nothing. The youngsters need to be accompanied and followed as they grow up. Their enthusiasm has to be fed and their passions guided. There is no energy in a vacuum. They have to know, and learn, that we care enough for them to feel what they are feeling. Nurturing their potential is captivating, meet them on their own ground and you will be surprised when you realize what they are capable of achieving.
"I think that adults, in general, are a good role model, a point of reference in life and for young people's future. Unfortunately, however, they are rather competitive vis-a-vis the many talented young who have a higher, and often better, educational qualification" says Mafalda, 24, a Bachelor in Foreign Languages and Literature at the Catholic University of Milan, Italy, and a Master in English Literature and Editorial Studies at the University of Bern, Switzerland.
"In my view, there should be a more open, less generalist society and, above all, more merit-based. There are many capable young people who have invested quite a few years of their life to reach goals bigger than what they ever thought possible, and it's precisely these people that should be given a path. To build a better society we should rely on merit.
I have chosen to complete my studies abroad, in Bern, to gain a new outlook on the world around me and challenge myself. I have learned to know me better and I have grown as an individual. I think that young people should be aware of their capabilities and values because you gain confidence in yourself and get a hint of constructive pride that sometimes makes the difference".
But communication is still an issue, and not the only one "Very often adults do not understand our real needs, the world changes and so do we. We feel the change and adapt quickly to new situations" says Alice, 19, first year Law student at the Università Statale of Milan. "Being young today is not as simple as it might seem, adults don't always take us seriously for the simple reason we are not their age and sometimes it's hard to get their respect because they think we are not grown up enough yet, be it in a personal or work environment. Being young should be something positive, in our favor, we are more dynamic, we get and store the information more quickly, therefore we learn faster but adults are unwilling to leave space for us".
Development and upbringing are a collective effort, not just someone's. Everyone should ask himself or herself who I am and what I am doing.
This festive season suggests a parallel with the Magi, who were men of science in their age and despite their knowledge decided to hit the road and undertake an epic journey because they wanted to know more, they wanted to find the substantial truth that is beyond the testable and calculable phenomena, the ultimate meaning of things. Epiphany is that moment.
In the same way the young people are craving for knowledge and look forward to growing as persons. Since there are no predefined routes, each one will have to find his or her comet and we adults have to provide ways for them to reach fullness and maturity, an alliance between generations to broaden their horizon so that we can all have a real, genuine, shared Epiphany.