You’ve been hurt, your heart has been broken way too many times to count, and you’re stuck wondering are all men like this? Do you just wait for the ball to drop with each and every date? There’s a simple mindset shift that will help change your outlook on dating.
The thing about dating is we’ve all had our heart broken. We’ve all experienced broken trust or crushed expectations in one form or the other. It sucks, it hurts and it can be damn hard to love and trust again. But the truth of it is…that new date is NOT your ex. He’s not the guy who broke your heart. He is a brand spanking new person with new qualities, new traits and new things to bring into your life.
And then this happens…we’re on the date with the new guy and we immediately start to look for the red flags and what could possibly be wrong with this person before getting to know their heart? When we look for the bad before really getting to know someone we can immediately set up the relationship for failure. We start to nit pick qualities, we start to compare them to an ex, we look for ways that could stop a good thing before it even gets going.
But what if we completely changed how we approached our date? What if we focused on looking for a date’s strengths instead of immediately looking for things that could go wrong? If we approach a date with a positive mindset and look for the good qualities instead of focusing on the bad the whole dynamic changes. Instead of writing someone off immediately because of a superficial qualities we may find a hidden gem underneath it all.
I want to challenge you. On your next date look at the person across from you and ask yourself what is amazing about this person? Is he respectful to the waiter? Is he funny? Does he talk with passion about things significant to him? What are their great qualities?
Of course if the date is just horrible from the beginning and the date is totally disrespectful there’s no need to continue to search for possible good qualities. Just don’t write off a potentially great date before it even starts.
When I was dating here’s what I would do…I would focus on what is amazing about this person? What can I learn about them? I would forget about all the things that could go wrong and instead focus on all the things that could possibly go right. When I made this simple mindset shift around the dating process my dating life completely changed. I not only apply this to my dating life but all my relationships. I have a deeper appreciation for the people that are in my life. I constantly look for how they’re amazing and why I’m so grateful that I have them in my life. This simple mindset shift changes the energy you’re putting out while on a date or even sitting at lunch with a friend. It let’s go of all the expectations and instead you’re getting to know someone for who they are not for who you expect them to be.
So I challenge you to walk into your next date thinking “what is amazing about this person?” I promise they’ll feel your positive energy, the date will be more relaxed and you’ll have a lot more fun.
XOXO, Amanda Rose