With Thanksgiving quickly approaching, take a deep breath and relax. Here is a poem to get you prepared for a festive day with the family.
It's Thanksgiving Eve, there's a crap ton to do.
Did you take the bird out of the freezer?
Oh hell no, I asked you!
Better get that turkey in the tub, or she'll be frozen till June.
No one likes an icy bird, we'll call her Elsa. I bet she can sing quite a tune.
We have green-beans and cranberries, I see giblets galore.
Quick...pick that up, 5 second rule, no one saw me drop the stuffing on the floor.
The turkey is ready to be stuffed head to toe.
WTF is that his neck? Watch out, I might blow.
The rolls are real sticky, the potatoes turned brown.
It's OK, don't sweat it, Aunt Martha will be drunk as we pass them around.
This meal only happens once in a year.
My family may be a circus, but we have plenty of beer.
Sit with your family and relish this thought.
29 days till Christmas and I already can't remember what I bought.
Happy Harvest to you and yours.
May your day be filled with cheer.
What's that smell, oh Crap the turkey. Can we do it at your house next year?
Meredith is a work-from-home mother of three who writes about the inappropriate side of marriage and motherhood on her blog at That's Inappropriate. Follow her on Facebook and Twitter.