If you are tired of hearing millenials complain about how tough life is…click away now. But, if you actually want to hear me out on why it is so difficult and try to understand it, continue reading.
We have so much at our fingertips for learning and for convenience, but that’s not where my concern is. My concern is for the way that we treat each other. Yes, it is a fact that the advent of social media and the revolutionary digital age has made this concept of relationships more difficult. However, that should not mean that we treat each other with a lack of respect and dignity.
I am trying to figure out where exactly we went wrong as a generation. Why is it that men and women in their twenties and even late teens think it is okay to treat others with such a lack of respect.
I’m sorry, Aretha Franklin, but R-E-S-P-E-C-T is something that most twenty somethings just have no care in finding out what it means. I explain all of my relationship woes to my mom, who can never understand how my generation is the way it is.
I’m not going to be a classic annoying “girl” and claim, “oh, I have an old soul” or “I was born in the wrong generation,” because that’s not true. I still engage in all of our generational steps like social media, direct messaging, etc. So, no, I am not an “old soul”; I am just a sucker for respect and dignity, which are two concepts that are really lacking in my generation.
I started thinking about how sad it is that our generation acts the way they do when I found myself getting played by boy after boy. I couldn’t understand why I was so rejected. Why is it that every time I start to like someone, they want one thing and when they don’t get it…bye! They ghost me. I never get answers as to why this was happening to me, so I started assuming it was me. It is my fault that boys don’t like me or that they assume that I am only good for one thing.
I’m blaming our generation for the difficulties that many of us have. Such an emphasis on putting out and hooking up are definitely generational things for us to struggle with. Furthermore, this exaggeration of polygamy in partners is ruining the idea of faithful relationships. I hear about someone cheating in relationships at least once a day, which is extremely disheartening.
I have to say to our generation…I am scared. I am scared of relationships and I am scared of what could happen if I ever found myself in one. I am constantly tricked into hooking up with people who don’t care about me, that I can’t even imagine the concept of a faithful relationship.
It may come as a surprise to some of you boys, but we aren’t here for you to decide our worth.
So, here is an open letter to you boys who are walking all over me and hundreds of girls out there:
No. It is not me, it’s you. I refuse to accept the fact that because of perhaps the way I dress or the way I look that I “should be easy.” I respect myself and that is what really matters. You may not respect me and the way I carry or present myself, but that is on you. You need a lesson in respect and that is something I can “give to you.”
Leading people on and pretending to like them just to get laid is not respectful (is that shocking to you?). Here is a tip: if you don’t actually like someone, don’t start talking to them and complimenting them to get them excited about you. Another tip: be straightforward. If you are going to start going on dates with a girl and offering to pay for things…and talking to her every day…and telling her she is beautiful…what do you expect that she expects? Probably a prospective relationship; why else would you be giving her the time of day, right?
Every day now, she wakes up on cloud nine, thinking that she really hit the jackpot. She’s got a nice, “respectful” gentleman that actually values her as a person. However, she is wrong, isn’t she? You’re just complimenting her and flattering her to get in her pants. This is wrong…SO wrong. Here is where our generational concepts rear their ugly, polygamist, one-minded heads.
When she says no to your fast track advances and you feel as though you wasted your time on her, you can just move on. But, do you understand the impact of your actions on her? Probably not.
Let me tell you now what she now wakes up thinking every morning after you ghost her. She thinks it is her fault completely. What could she have done to make you stay and actually get to know her? How is it that you were so into her and now you’ve started completely ignoring her? To her, it is 100% her fault.
But, you and I both know that that is false. It may not be until say a few months after you stopped talking to her that she realizes what she is worth, or that she even has worth at all. She is not a simple notch in your bedpost or potential hook-up. She is a human being and just because she respects herself and did not allow you free access, doesn’t mean that she is anything less than a human being.
It’s sad that our generation has ignored respect for one another. It is sad that our generation has lost the dignity that our predecessors have worked so hard to gain. Maybe I am different. Maybe I was brought up differently—to have respect for myself and for others.
Regardless of the what-ifs and sad realities, women need to know and need to understand that self-worth is real and that not one boy, no matter how handsome or great you thought he was, can make you any less of the wonderful person you are.
So, we strive to better ourselves. We look out for each other. We fight for our respect and dignity. We realize our worth and use it to succeed.