8 Ways to Meet the Man You Desire

Couple drinking wine in a hotel bar
Couple drinking wine in a hotel bar

The are millions of attractive and available women who scratch their heads every day and ask themselves questions such as, "Why is it so difficult to meet a great guy!" or "Why does it seem that it's always the man 'I'm not interested in,' who approaches me?" or "Why doesn't the man I'm interested in ask me out on a date?"

Answer: Men have become cowards and women have been passive for too long.

Yes, there was a time when a man opened a door for a woman, held her hand as they crossed the street, called her up a week in advance for a date. That man was taught some of the basics of courting a woman such as showing up at her door wearing a jacket, greeting her with a bouquet of flowers, and announcing his big plans to take her out for a romantic candle-light dinner. That time was - the 1900s and you weren't born then. So it's time to put those starry-eyed fantasies out to pasture.

While your grandmother or even mother may have filled your head with such romantic ideas, and given you expectations of the ways gallant men once treated women, those days are gone for single women living in the year 2015.

Not only are they gone, but so are the many dates that men use to ask women on!

How many times have you gone out to a pub or a party to meet a man and given out your number to him? You were sure you were on your way to meeting him for a drink or a fun, get-acquainted dinner - only to find out that he never even called to ask you out.

As a single woman, you're more likely to have experiences where you go to a social event and see a man make eye contact with you, but not come over. Or, you may have had a man come over and talk to you for an entire evening as if you were the most charming and captivating women in the world, yet never seemed to have the nerve to ask you for your phone number.

Or, have you ever had a man shamelessly flirt with you while talking to his friends. He's holding a drink, appearing to be engaged in deep discussion about you with his buddies as he smiles and stares at you only to eventually walk away with his friends.

Perhaps, you've had this maddening experience where a man you've met asks for your number, texts you for a week or two and never asks you out. Despite engaging you in the most personal texting, he never makes that first move.

Gloria Steinem Was Right: Times Have Changed!

What is going on here? The answer is complex but it's clear that the roles and social responsibilities of men and women have radically changed over the past half to three-quarters of a century. It would be easy to find fault with men and say that they are shy, ambivalent, cowardly or just poorly trained. Have the mothers of too many men, raised them to think they are God's gift to women? Maybe these men lacked fathers who didn't take the time to give them the basic course on "Courting 101."

Or, is today's modern woman guilty of operating on a double-standard where on one hand, she wants 100% equality in the workforce (e.g. to be paid $1 for every a $1 a man makes) yet, wants a man to remain in the traditional role of the pursuer when it comes to conventional dating situations?

Don't forget icon feminist Gloria Steinem's famous words about today's liberated woman: "We are becoming the men we wanted to marry."

Men have clearly changed their attitudes toward pursuing women. Maybe it's time for women to change their attitudes towards pursuing men. Today's man is most likely not the man you grew up dreaming you would meet. So, it's time for women who want to meet Mr. Right - to take matters into their own hands. Stop waiting to be picked. Instead, "choose!" Now more than ever, a single woman who wants to find a man worthy of her, must become more initiating in her dating life and become the "chaser," not just the chased.

Today's Woman is An Equal-Not Just a Spectator

To take control of your social and dating life, you must be willing to change archaic attitudes you may have grown up with. In your grandmother's day and even in your mother's day, women had this notion that it wasn't "feminine" to approach men directly. It was "rather forward." Some in society thought that only "loose, easy" or desperate women did that. The result is that many women still have a feeling in their psyche that a man "should ask me out;" and, that only women who are undesirable and unattractive stoop to approaching a man or calling him up.

To find the right man, don't allow a few unsuccessful experiences where you initiated and failed to meet a particular man, cause you to quit being initiating. It's easy for a person to allow "rejection," to undermine their confidence. After failure, one attractive woman said, "Well, I remember walking up to a guy and trying to meet him and he just wasn't interested." Or, "I remember calling up a man and asking him on a date, and he refused. So, I've tried that and it doesn't work." Nonsense. It would be more correct to say, you've tried it a few times and it wasn't successful.

Many women are so devastated by rejection that being rejected a few times, means "game over! I'll never ask a man out again!" Most women don't realize that rejection is part of the socialization and dating process. It happens and it's not personal. After all, most of the time that the other person rejects you, they don't even know you. Or, they don't even know you well. Don't forget: they have a right to their preferences - just as you do.

Keep in mind that the typical single male, by the time he turns 35-years old, has been turned down by a woman from 500 to 1,000 times. Most men are not discouraged by women rejecting them. They may not like it but they expect it. It's just part of the dating process. Many men ask for a date with a mindset, using the old acroynym: S W S W S W N, which means: Some will...some won't...so what...next!

Men learn that when a woman is not interested in them, it just means, "that woman was not interested in them."

It's Time to Be a Lioness - Not a Lamb

We live in a competitive world. If you don't ask - you don't get. Women have been more rapidly climbing the corporate ladder and becoming entrepreneurs because they understand they must assert themselves to get opportunities, make more money and achieve greater power and position. Many of these women have the courage of lionesses.

If you're single and want to find a wonderful love relationship, you must be a lioness in your social life as well. That means that today's assertive woman "pro-actively" meets a man she desires. She does not stand around like a sheep and wait for a kindly wolf to approach her. She has the self-esteem to approach exactly the kind of man that she thinks she'd like to meet.

8 Ways to Meet a Man You Desire

1. If you're ready to be a lioness, walk up to a man you want to know and tell him he looks interesting and you'd enjoy meeting him and saying hello. Start the conversation. If you're not well received, excuse yourself and say, "Nice meeting you." (Next)

2. After a few text messages with someone you've met: text back that you're free to meet this week, "What day is good for you?" Your answer to future texts should be to ignore the personal conversation. Just text back: "Please let me know when you're free to meet."

3. Ask any man you want to meet out for a cup of coffee (or a drink).

4. Invite a man out for a walk or hike.

5. Invite a man out to a sporting event.

6. Invite a man out to a social event (e.g. gallery or restaurant opening).

7. Invite a man out to share lunch or dinner. (Remind him, that just like your friends, you're happy to split the tab since he may be a new friend.)

8. For the right man: plan an entire day or evening and tell him it's your treat.

To implement these suggestions, may call for the leopard to change her spots. But remember, lionesses are the most successful hunters in the jungle.

Learn how the planets may be affecting you, and whether they may be bringing a relationship into your future - by going to the Free Transit Calculator and entering your birth date. And, if you're curious to learn more about your personal Horoscope and what it says about your love relationships, career, investments and health in: Order your customized Report: Your Horoscope & Future in 2015-16. Or, a report on - Your Love Compatibility.

Larry Schwimmer is an astrologer in private practice. For private consultations, contact him at: Larry@astrodecision.com or go to www.AstroDecision.com

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Larry Schwimmer is president of Astrodecision.com, a San Francisco-based consulting company. The firm uses planetary cycles analysis to counsel individual and corporate clients on picking the "best dates" to make successful decisions of all types: personal, marketing, financial, and political. Schwimmer is an internationally known business consultant, life coach and astrologer (with a Fortune 500 M&A background). Visit his website: AstroDecision.com