ABC's The Bachelorette: Des Hartsock Knows There Aren't Enough Words For Love.

One difference between me and Desiree Hartsock, this season's bachelorette, is that I'm cursed with the inability to fall in love with someone who mistakes verbs for adjectives. Des, to her credit, is more forgiving. And maybe if I were being courted by Brooks, I'd forgive him too. Sweet, gentle, pretty Brooks, Brooks of the prominent cheekbones and shampoo-commercial hair. What I wouldn't give for hair like Brooks'. Thick, shiny, luscious, undulant--adjectives don't come close to doing hair like his justice. Brooks has hair you want to make a home in.

He and Des were cruising in a Smart car convertible through the subtropical forests of Madeira Island ("a hidden pearl in the Atlantic," as Zak W., another contestant, put it), just laughing, having fun, being themselves, and living in the moment. This was Brooks' second one-on-one, so he knew Des was into him--but how into him? Back at the villa, there were four other dudes doing chin-ups, drinking smoothies, and hoping to end up Des' husband. They all had prominent cheekbones, too, and Michael and Drew both had hair almost as beautiful. Brooks needed to know where he stood with Des. He knew she liked him, but did she love him? "We need more adjectives," he said, meaning verbs.

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