Act One: Trump at the Police Station

Sgt. - Can I help you?

Trump – I would like to report a serious crime.

Sgt. - What is it?

Trump – My telephones have been illegally tapped, and I want it thoroughly investigated

Sgt. – What evidence do you have?

Trump – Huge evidence. I frequently got busy signals when I call other people.

Sgt. Do you know who was tapping your phones?

Trump – A guy named Obama.

Sgt.- How do you know it’s him?

Trump - He’s black. Black people love me and I love black people, but you know what they do---carnage and all that kind of stuff. Believe me. But they are not as bad as illegal aliens who murder and rape all the time.

Sgt. – Do you have any other evidence against him?

Trump – Very suspicious person. Although he claims to be an American, he’s really from Kenya. Although he was elected President of the Harvard Law Review by its members, nobody knew him. I had people investigate him where he says he was born and you won’t believe what they found! Also he was the founder of ISIS.

Sgt. Do you have any witnesses to support your claim?

Trump – I sure do---an eyewitness, my employee, Ms. Sanders.

Sgt.- Ms. Sanders were you a witness to this alleged crime.

Sanders – I certainly was. I was there in person when he said it, so we need an investigation.

Sgt. – When who said it?

Sanders – Mr. Trump. I was right there. I witnessed it personally. This could be the worst crime in the history of the United States.

Sgt. – Let me understand this –you witnessed your Boss making this charge correct? But do you have any evidence supporting the charge?

Sanders – Yes. Mr. Trump’s associates and maybe even Mr. Trump are being investigated for possible ties with the Russians. Turnabout is fair play. So he should have something to investigate as well----possible wiretapping by Obama. There may be something there, although we do not have any evidence at this time.

Sgt. - But your boss said it was a fact that he was being wiretapped.

Sanders- That is because you don’t know him. You are making the mistake of taking him literally, When he says something happened, he means it may have happened, conceivably happened or may not have happened.

Sgt. - Well I am sorry Mr. Trump but we need more evidence to go on before launching an investigation. Please come back when you have more.

Trump – Well if that doesn’t interest you what about checking out whether Ted Cruz’s father killed JFK or whether thousands of people in N.J. celebrated 911 or millions voted illegally or

Intermission (to give liars a chance to rest)


This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email.