Affirmations are a crock.
Like New Age snake oil.
Because no matter how many of them you chant, whisper, or spit out through gritted teeth, have you noticed they're as effective as tits on a tomcat?
And often you feel worse, not better, after invoking them.
You're not doing them wrong. You're not the World's Worst Affirmer.
It's because affirmations are distortions of reality AKA lies we've been encouraged to tell ourselves. To trick ourselves into feeling better.
Like your subconscious is a not-quite-bright child.
The Unbearable Deception of "This Won't Hurt a Bit!'
Remember as a kid when you'd go to the doctor to get a shot and she'd chirp "This won't hurt a bit!", and you tried but failed to muster up a smile because you knew really that needle was going to hurt like hell?
Yeah. Affirmations are like that.
As though somehow reality is so dangerous to you that you have to force feed yourself an artificial viewpoint. Or, what, you'll melt like the Wicked Witch when water was thrown on her?
Meaning that affirmations are rooted in powerlessness, which is about as far from self-love as you can get. No wonder you feel inadequate after using them.
Troubling, isn't it?
Love Is Never Having to Say Affirmations
Hey, listen, I came of age in the 70's in southern California when affirmations permeated the air thicker than pot smoke. I get their allure.
But when in a heartbeat my dad had to be put on life support all the affirmations in the world wouldn't have made a difference. And sugarcoating would have dishonored him.
So when I sat with him all night before support was removed I held his hand and tried to keep it real even as my heart shattered into a million pieces. "Yes, it's time to go. Even though I'm not ready for you to leave, I love you and I wish you well. Thanks for being my dad."
Because when you're dedicated to reality you ripen into pure love instead of stagnating in the powerlessness of affirmations.
Are You Ready to Free Yourself From the Affirmation Trap?
Affirmations are like the Sirens. They lure you to your doom because when you don't see things as they are you're likely to run aground on reality's shores.
When life sucks, it sucks. No need to put icing on manure and try to pass it off as a gourmet dessert. Instead, see the manure for what it is so you know how to tidy up, move forward, and shine in your life.
As Marianne Williamson says, "Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure..but your playing small does not serve the world."
Affirmations reinforce your deepest fear and keep you mired in smallness.
So ditch them, dedicate yourself to reality, and reclaim your power.
Because that's true self-love.
What are you waiting for?
Lynn Hauka teaches meditation to people who want to discover how to quit life's craziness and make powerful choices that support their growth and success.
Get your free 10-minute guided meditation at QuitTheCrazy.com and discover how to be calm even when life happens. It's like having your own personal meditation coach whenever you need one.
You'll also get practical tips and real-life stories that will inspire you and move you. So come join the Quit The Crazy community and discover how to meditate! Because life's too short to be nuts.
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