You've got everything you want. The love. The work. The clients. The results. The money. The house. The closet full of everything you've ever dreamed. The kids, even.
Now, as you complete this picture. Who is there to support you? Who do you call on to talk about something amazing? Who do you call on to distract you when you are upset? Who do you want to grab drinks with?
Yes, I mean: Who are your friends?
Are the people in your life TODAY the same people you want to and believe you can count on then?
There came a moment in my life earlier this year when I pondered this.
And I realized in that moment: I'm terrified of success because I'm afraid of not having friends.
This is something I've heard from others.
It's one of the reasons you don't sell as hard as you could, or allow yourself to receive the amount of money you desire, or even write the book that could be a bestseller.
Somewhere you learned "it's lonely at the top." Or maybe you simply don't think anyone can handle watching you shine because mom and dad taught you it was wrong to outshine them or your sibling. Or you've heard your current friends say disparaging things about successful and rich people, things like, "She thinks she's all that," or "He has too much money, it's gone to his head."
How can these people -- or any people -- genuinely love you for you if they only meet you at your "best" or if you're out-earning them 10x?
There's a quote often misattributed to the gorgeous bottle-blonde bombshell Marilyn Monroe, and it ends with these words: "If you can't handle me at my worst, you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
It was in the emo kid handbook, wasn't it? (Do they still print copies of that thing? :P)
I swear the people I've heard it from the most are the ones who can't keep a relationship to save their lives and make this their excuse.
And it's a concern that makes your relationship with success an on-again, off-again one, right?
It might be scary to admit it to yourself, but you already know you've got to confront your excuses. (Don't you?)
So just consider it.
Do you worry that (a) the friends you have now can't handle you at your best, and/or (b) you don't really feel like you have friends now but you're concerned that later on, when the world knows your name, you won't know who your true friends are?
I sort of worried about both.
At first, I thought it was just a concern over the people currently in my life handling my success.
Then I realized that I didn't feel like I had many people who truly understand my vision and I could later find friends who did.
But.
Oh.
My.
God.
What if people only want to be my friend then (in my successful future) because I can do or give something to them?
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.
Seriously?
That's a thing?
I'm worried about THIS?
THIS is why I can't let myself make money? Or have the reach? Get the clients?
^ This is how it started unfolding for me. No, I wasn't just worried about the people in my lives. I was worried about so much more. I worried if I'm lovable and valuable enough that people will see past my "failure" or "success" to see ME and want ME in their lives because I'm ME.
Like I mentioned, this is something that dawned on me earlier this year.
Although now I can't remember if it happened before or after "The Quake." (This is what I call the breakthrough I had on May 25, 2017 that brought me to my own approach to building a dream life and business, which I call Access Your Godliness.)
Honestly though? I'm never sure if the people in my life know the real me.
I write and write and write my truth. And I show up and speak my truth on livestreams and on videos I post to YouTube. I can name two people who've told me directly that they watch my videos on YouTube (and this was without me asking). I can't think of anybody I know IRL who has watched an entire livestream of mine. A few of the people I met offline do actually read these posts I write daily.
But does anybody actually know me?
Maybe it's not possible.
I can think of all of the people in my life who know FACETS of me. And so many of them hold on to whatever pieces of me they accepted early on without making room for me to reveal new sides of myself.
So?
Maybe I can just take a hakuna matata attitude to WHO shows up in my life. Or at least, this is what I quickly decided once I confronted my fear/block around how my friendships will stand the test of success.
All I can do -- all YOU can do -- is release fear, show up as truthfully as possible, and let people discover the real you on their own timeline. It's not your job to control who knows what about you.
OK, that's not true. Another thing we can do?
Any of us who want to experience amazing relationships where our needs are met... We can manifest the people with the traits and desires to give us what we need and desire.
This is something I actually understood a long time ago although I didn't consciously know it was an exercise in manifestation. Going through my second-ever journal I saw a Wanted "add" I wrote out looking for a best friend. On March 20, 2001, the person I wanted for my best friend had to be "nice, doesn't laugh at me, lays in grass, helps me study for tests, goes on picnics and trips with me."
Seriously, it's equal parts funny and sad that THAT was the list of desired qualities.
Clearly quality time is one of my love languages. As I write this, I'm literally realizing that is why I crave friends who will hustle while I hustle and enjoy days spent coworking.
And guess what? I'm calling in friends who get it. Who also want to spend time parallel hustlin' (sounds better to me than "coworking"). And actually? This is someone who was already in my life but I didn't realize could be someone I invited to do this with me. We've done the parallel hustle a couple of times and we make great strides when we do.
Here's one of the principles of my approach to life & business: We can call in *versions* of the people we love who are different in the ways we wish they'd be. (I'm still working on figuring out how to put this in pretty, but simple, words, by the way.)
In my life, this looks like this: Before The Quake, my boyfriend was the slobbiest slob ever. Never cleaned up after himself. Like, seriously. Candy wrappers everywhere. Piles of dishes next to the bed or his desk. Drove me crazy. Now, I wasn't the best housekeeper. But as it sometimes does, life gave me a reason to do a deep clean & declutter of my apartment. I made it clear to Chris that keeping the apartment clean was really important to me by my actions and words. This is what calling in shifts in the people you love sometimes looks like: making the change in yourself first.
I believe it can also just happen... Like receiving texts from a friend telling me she's watched my YouTube videos. I honestly didn't think she could relate to my work. It was an amazing surprise to receive her message.
It all begins with getting clear on what beliefs block you from having what you want -- the supportive friends who will not only stick around once you have success but help you get there too -- and then OWNING your desire. These are your first steps.
Oh, and always trust-
Your truth unlocks a whole big crazy cool life. Share if you dare!
With fervent hopes you'll return the love (truth),
Rosella
P.S. Do you find yourself worrying that you won't have any friends if you meet your goals for this next launch? Do you hear a voice inside of you say, "I'm afraid my clients won't get results," whenever you go to create or sell an offer? Do you want to help a lot of people but wonder how to do that?
These are things that I help clients with during my 90-day coaching package.
This is what life will look like after we work together: You wake up excited to do the work. In fact, most nights you don't even want to go to bed because you so enjoy the way you spend your days. Addicted to journaling because you know how to write your dreams into reality. You've created a body of content that has brought you more friend requests, email list signups, and Facebook group members than you've had in the year before we started working together. You are comfortable with money, checking your bank balance without fear. You're even down 10 or 20 pounds without effort or deprivation because life is so, so good you don't use food as a pick-me-up anymore.
Book a call with me NOW to explore this: bit.ly/RosellaCall
When we work together over the course of 90 days, you:
* Develop one sentence (literally) that will make you millions in your lifetime
* Gain total clarity on your purpose and what actions will get you to the next level
* Replace poverty thinking with an abundance mentality
* Train your brain to think as the next level-version of you so you can actually get there
* Get you into inspired action, taking your cues from intuition to effortlessly build the business and life of your dreams
* Build a library of content that engages readers and moves them to take action to change their own lives
* Become an unstoppable content machine (this is about those unsexy words "discipline" and "habit"); you know you have so, so much to say and just need to develop the habit of showing up regularly to the keyboard or camera or microphone
* Cut out all excuses
* Stop fear and doubt dead in their tracks with the ability to move past them whenever they arise
* Start leading an empowered, passionate community that hangs on your every word (but who also take incredible action to change their lives, including hiring you)
Book a call with me NOW to explore this: bit.ly/RosellaCall
Here’s my Fancy 3rd Person Bio:
Rosella LaFevre is the world’s teacher of Access Your Godliness. She mentors women entrepreneurs who are struggling with dissatisfaction and subsequent guilt, and helps them learn to access their Godliness to create everything they desire. She is also the author of daily #TRUTHLETTING, refreshingly honest writing about building a better life and business. Sign up to receive her writing via email.
