Former Florida Rep. Alan Grayson wants voters to know that if they don't send him back to Congress this year, Mitt Romney's dog will suffer.
"Unless you have been visiting relatives in Atlantis for the last few months, you may have heard about Mitt Romney's Irish setter Seamus," Grayson said in a fundraising email. "Mitt Romney caged Seamus, strapped the cage to the roof of his car, and then drove Seamus 650 miles, from Massachusetts to Ontario.
"During the ride, Seamus developed diarrhea," Grayson continued. "Romney calmly drove into a gas station, hosed off Seamus, the cage and the car windows, and continued his trek. Even though Romney's dog was as sick as a dog."
The story of Seamus Romney, first reported by the Boston Globe in 2007, never received more attention than when Rick Santorum's campaign repeatedly used it to bash Romney during the Republican primary earlier this year. Alan Grayson -- the one-term Democratic firebrand who said the Republican health care plan calls for the sick to "die quickly" -- is the kind of politician who could restore Seamus to his former prominence.
Under a Romney administration, Grayson wrote, all manner of bad things will happen to the First Dog.
He'll be tied to the trunk of the limousine that carries Mitt Romney down Pennsylvania Avenue to his inauguration. (Romney's inauguration, not the dog's.)
He'll be tied to the roof of the helicopter that carries Romney to Camp David. Just under the blades.
He'll be tied to the top of Air Force One, as it hurtles through the air at 600 miles an hour, six miles above the ground. That would be enough to give anyone the runs.
How would donating to Alan Grayson prevent those things from happening? Because Grayson's district is in Florida along the I-4 corridor, and if President Obama wins the I-4 corridor, he'll win the whole state.