Alanis Morrissette has opened up about experiencing postpartum depression for the third time – after the birth of her third child.
The singer welcomed son Winter on 8 August, joining her eight-year-old son Ever and three-year-old daughter Onyx.
The 45-year-old wrote a stream-of-consciousness post, entitled “I Love You, I Am Here For You”, in which she shared the fears and anxieties she’s going through as a result of postpartum depression – a condition she likens to “a sneaky monkey with a machete”.
The post details the conflicting feelings she has, as she’s both aware that she’s suffering from depression and unable to stop it happening.
“I wasn’t sure if I would have postpartum depression/anxiety this time around, ” she writes. “Or, as I like to call it: postpartum activity. Or, also: postpartum tar-drenched trenches. There are so many tentacles to this experience – I will break them down in time.”
Detailing how she feels, she adds: “Hormonal. Sleep deprivation. Fogginess. Physical pain. Isolation. Anxiety. Cortisol. Recovery from childbirth. Integrating new angel baby with older angel babies. Marriage. All kinds of PTSD triggers. Overstimulation. This body.”
Morissette acknowledges that she will get to a point where things are better and easier. She continues: “All this said, I have been here before. I know there is another side. And the other side is greater than my PPD-riddled-temporarily-adjusted-brain could have ever imagined.
“As a mum, as an artist, as a wife, as a friend, as a collaborator, as a leader, as a boss, as an activist. I saw how things got richer after I came through it the last two times. I have my eye on that prize again… even as I drag my ass through the molasses.”
Morrissette, who is married to rapper Mario “Souleye” Treadway, has opened up in the past about depression, eating disorders and grief – and has a podcast in which she explores issues from addiction to child psychology.
“I won’t remember typing this,” her post concludes. “And I am finally realising that that is entirely ok.”
She received hundreds of supportive comments on her Instagram post, which signposted her followers to the blog. “I hear what you are saying and going through,” one person wrote. “I stand with you and offer hope and love.”
Another commented: “I am five months postpartum and thank you for saying out loud what my heart has felt along the way.”
Someone else called her post “deep and so, so real”. “Thank you for sharing your truth,” they wrote. “So many others will see theirs because of it. It’s impossible to quantity or qualify this experience totally, but this window into your experience is so familiar to those of us who have been there too. You are never alone in this.”