It's true. Music soothes the savage beast. The month of March is when the beasts roar. It gets savage in the dens of houses everywhere. Papers line the floors, the tables and have even been known to sit on the top of dog crates, toasters and kitty litter boxes. For every pile formed there was a howl and a whimper that emanated from the beast in human form. Its tax time. Oh sure, I have an accountant. And that means what? It still means that I have to give him all of the paperwork, the numbers, my life on paper and dollar signs from the last year. Oh God, I need to scream. No wait! I need to sing! Really loud!
I share with you now the four best albums to do your taxes by!
1. The Beatles -- HELP. Ah yes, this is the quintessential album to start with. Singing out the lyrics to HELP at the top of your lungs, as you sit back and look at your piles, will release a surge of pent up fear and anxiety that you have been holding onto for days. You know, those days where you avoided even starting your taxes. Soon the music takes you through the classic You've Got to Hide Your Love Away. Just a hint ... don't use this as an excuse to start hiding a bunch of entertainment in the office supplies column. You may end up with a Ticket to Ride to the hoosegow. And then You're Going Loose That Girl for sure. It will be really hard to Act Naturally as the IRS agents says to you, Tell Me What You See and you start wishing for Yesterday. So, sing along at the top of your lungs. Let John, Paul, George and Ringo rock and roll you away to Dizzy Miss Lizzy heights!
2. Sly And The Family Stone Greatest Hits -- Now you are on a roll. You're actually digging the music as you sort through the piles. It's time to get you groovin' to the ultimate soul band of the 70's. It's virtually impossible to not jump around as the beat is getting stronger and you are warming up your laptop tax program to I want to take you Higher! The program pops up on the screen, you start to get nervous, then Everybody is a Star comes on and you have faith that no matter what you end up having to pay in taxes, you are still that working God, Shining Star! Wait, did Stand just come on? Stand! There's a cross for you to bear. Things to go though if you're going anywhere! Sing it loud! Sing it proud! Just remember you are not alone! There are Every Day People all over the country just like you staring at a computer screen right now! The butcher, the banker, the drummer and then makes no difference what group I'm in. Ain't it the truth? Soon you are reminded of what you do it all for! Dreamin' of Hot Fun In The Summertime again. Thank You Falettinme Be Mice Elf Agin. If Sly and the Family Stone can write it like that you can live it!
3. Don Juan De Marco Soundtrack -- Now it's time to start entering numbers into the program. You need to concentrate. So Singalongs need to take a back burner. There is no better movie soundtrack to keep you working and energized than Don Juan De Marco. Meditate a moment, listen to Have you Really Loved A Woman, sing along with it and get it out of your system. Habanera will give you passion and confidence to just do it! Don Juan's lyrical guitar will focus you. Then Has Amado Una Mujer De Veras will take you away to a beautiful beach in Mexico as you enter in those numbers from your last year's corporate retreat. Hey, it was business!
4. Michael Jackson's Thriller -- You are seriously deep into the process now. You are about to run your first report. Did I make money? How much do I owe? Who is paying who? Am I paying the man, or is he paying me? Before you Start Somethin' and run that report, hit up the biggest selling album of all time! Crank the volume up and what the hell... get out of your chair and dance! You Wanna be Starting' Somethin', You Got to be Startin' Something, Say You Wanna be Starting' Somethin', You Got to be Startin' Something! Now before you start feeling like the pain is thunder sit yourself back down and listen to Michael and Paul duel it out for that Doggone Girl in The Girl is Mine. Kinda like you and Uncle Sam... fighting over that last dollar of yours! Ok, this is it. You have avoided hitting that button to see the results. You are terrified... its late... It's close to midnight and something evil's lurking in the dark. You have to hit the report button! You try to scream, but terror takes the sound before you make it. REPORT! DO IT! You get back your courage! You wanna be tough, so Beat It! No one wants to be defeated! You have to show them that you're really not scared! Showing how funky and strong is your fight! Why are you so scared? Why is your heart racing? Why have you been an ogre to your family all week? When someone asks just...tell them that its Human Nature. And remember when you pay those taxes... I like livin' this way, I like lovin' this way. Now, if you're one of the lucky ones that's getting money back, up the volume on P.Y.T.! Think of that pretty little check , your P.Y.T! Buy that trip to Mexico! Paris, Hawaii! I'll take you there, Anywhere you wanna go! After all, it's a business trip... a write off for 2017.