Cher Horowitz Reacts To Alicia Silverstone's New Book, So You Don't Have To

Cher Horowitz Reacts To Alicia Silverstone's New Book, So You Don't Have To

The latest celebrity mom to come out with her very own guide to attachment parenting is Alicia Silverstone. Much has already been written about why "The Kind Mama: A Simple Guide to Supercharged Fertility, a Radiant Pregnancy, a Sweeter Birth, and a Healthier, More Beautiful Beginning" is controversial. Lizzie Crocker detailed sections of the book that seem problematic for The Daily Beast and Jessica Grose argues for Slate that we need to stop giving these women a platform. But nobody has asked one important character what she thinks about the book -- Cher Horowitz.

For a generation who grew up quoting Cher, it was confusing to see "her" demonstrating the benefits of pre-chewing your baby's food in 2012, and now it is straight up mind-blowing to see her in photo after gorgeous photo in 354 pages that provide a solution to fertility challenges, breastfeeding woes, as well as PMS, insomnia, allergies, breakouts, weight struggles, thyroid condition, lupus, multiple sclerosis and more. In a nutshell, her silver bullet is a vegan, "kind" lifestyle that will properly prepare your "baby house" (that's your uterus) to carry, and then keep you and your baby healthy post-birth. According to Silverstone, "nature's already provided the answers," so let's not bother with tampons, vaccines or diapers. The "Clueless" actress cites anecdotal evidence -- like how she potty trained her son Bear in six months -- and advice from obstetricians, midwives, and holistic health counselors to support her theories.

Beyond diet, she has a few more tips on becoming "kind," which are below.

On infertility:

Eat well, get healthy, then ditch all the planning and trying and just let it flow. There’s no better way to make a baby than with yummy, soulful sex!

On using tampons while trying to conceive:

[Y]our chichi is the most absorbent part of your body. Unfortunately, feminine-care manufacturers aren’t required to tell you what’s in their products, which means that no one’s talking about the potential pesticide residues from non-organic cotton and the ‘fragrances’ containing hormone-upsetting, fertility-knocking phthalates that are snuggling up to your hoo-ha.

On eating your placenta:

Encapsulating the placenta into pills is just one way to go, and your midwife or doula can direct you to someone who will do it for you. Some women have a small piece of placenta made into a healing tincture, and some go all-in and make a series of postbirth placenta smoothies. It’s different benefits from these various methods, so I say go with whatever feels true to you.

On "elimination communication" instead of potty training:

Infants who are left in their diapers all day get out of tune with their bodies... because they get used to walking around in a toilet, by the time you want to take that diaper away, it can be pretty difficult for a small child to relearn how to pay attention to this need and do something about it ... so step away from the Pampers.

On breastfeeding:

Nurse like it's your destiny: During your baby vacation, you'll have all the time in the world for your new job as mama and letting those boobies reach their full potential. Feeding frequently around the clock will help prevent jaundice in your baby; boost your milk supply; ward off engorgement; plugged ducts, and mastitis; and make that milk as nutritious as possible.

On colic:

Don’t worry -- it’s not some mean spell sent from the heavens to make life difficult. There’s a solution. It starts with what we mamas eat ... Luckily, because you’re the gatekeeper of all that is good and milky, you have a lot of control over what might be irritating baby’s little belly.

On vaccines:

While there has not been a conclusive study of the negative effects of such a rigorous one-size-fits-all, shoot-’em-up schedule, there is increasing anecdotal evidence from doctors who have gotten distressed phone calls from parents claiming their child was "never the same" after receiving a vaccine. And I personally have friends whose babies were drastically affected in this way.

On the importance of a very specific type of family bed:

Unfortunately, a lot of the products made for sleep -- bedding, pillows, and mattresses -- are doused in all kinds of chemicals that can have a serious effect on our health and our babies’ health, not to mention on how well we sleep … if you’ve been eyeing new bedding for your family nest, think twice if it’s made out of conventionally grown cotton, which represents almost a quarter of the world’s consumption of insecticides and 10 percent of its pesticides.

So there you have it folks, take it, leave it, or use it sporadically (It means once in a while. Try to use it in a sentence).

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