For Epicurious, by Anya Hoffman.
It's a tale as old as time: girl is trapped in castle by terrifying monster and enjoys lavish feast served by anthropomorphized waitstaff. Here's how to recreate the meal.
"Soup du Jour!"
This cèpe mushroom soup can't instantly transport Bell out of that creepy castle, but it is pretty magical.
"Hot Hors d'Oeuvres!"
If there’s anything that can make a person forget they’ve been kidnapped by a man with an animal head who wears a bow in his mane, it’s these elegant palmiers.
"Try the Grey Stuff, It's Delicious..."
Mrs. Potts doesn't mess around when it comes to pâté, and neither do we.
Don't eat beef? Try our parsnip and mushroom ragout instead. (Unless you're Belle, in which case you get what you get and you don't get upset.)
Shh. Don't make too much noise, or you'll deflate the soufflé! (Also the Beast might hear and come eat you.)
"Pie and Pudding en Flambé!"
Serve this Proustian tarte tatin in honor of the small French village Belle will never see again. Hoping a flaming dessert might set off the fire alarm and alert the authorities? This classic Christmas pudding is a good bet.
"Wine's Been Poured and Thank the Lord"
Drink enough of this cider-mulled wine and it might not seem so weird to be hanging out with a talking clock.
If there's anything that makes a girl feel romantic, it's the loss of her personal agency. Oh, and CHOCOLATE.
"...She'll Want Tea"
Are those inanimate objects thoughtful or what? You bet she wants tea. Or perhaps a slice of this one-bowl chai cake? Or these green tea truffles? Or how about she just takes the tea to go, is that cool? No, really―she's really done being your guest for the moment...
More from Epicurious: