Behind closed doors, beneath closed eyes
When we struggle to cope with anything, the silence can be deafening
As if it preys on our weaknesses, during our times of bleakness
Our thoughts often play tricks with our subconscious minds
Well subconscious, becomes conscious and those thoughts keep seeping through
Alone, we are afraid to be... that much I'm sure is true
In this era of immersion, in a world now limitless, where distance means nothing; many feel more alone now than ever before. Every day we are bombarded with information (good/bad/ugly) in every waking moment of our lives. It is no wonder why insomnia, behavioral health challenges, suicide and so much more is on the rise.
To scramble them a bit and borrow some words from Timothy Leary, it is time we tune out and tune in. Tune out of everything around us for even a few moments in the day, and tune into our solitary selves. Alone, we should not be afraid to be. For many though, this is their worst nightmare.
I have crossed paths professionally and personally with so many people who are afraid to be alone with their thoughts. Not only during waking moments, but also during sleep. Why? Most often because in the silence they are at war with themselves. Intrusive negative self-talk laced with hatred and nightmares that plague their sleep, is far too often the answer I get.
Somewhere we walked or were walked astray from ourselves and divided, but not conquered from our inner children. They now reside in a place where hatred, madness and vileness reign supreme over their minds. So easily this seeps into so many lives, when given an opportunity to do so.
So what is one to do, what is one to do?
Well, we can suppress those thoughts of course with maladaptive coping skills.
We can drink, we can use, we can abuse those around us, while we abuse ourselves, throw in some self-harm, some suicidality and reckless risky behaviors and that should round it all out.
One can only silence the place in which they suffer for so long, before catastrophic consequences take hold.
But why?
As we have progressed in the realm of psychology, we stumbled upon this little thing called trauma. I hope by now you've heard of it. What a nasty, nasty little piece of work it is and my how does it like to reap havoc on one's mind. According to American Academy of Pediatrics this little thing called trauma, changes the architecture of the developing brain. Dr. Bruce Perry has written about this in many mediums, about "how states, become traits." This doesn't only happen in early childhood, but also in any catastrophic event, involving anyone of any age.
So the mind in essence flips and goes into a constant loop of "fight or flight," like a broken record player stuck on one track. Some have often expressed it as listening to many radio stations all at once, but none of them are ever tuned in. So the mind, ultimately, is constantly at war with itself. To be alone is maddening and the only alternative is to find a way to make it stop or at least dampen it for a long while.
The question I ask myself is this: How many people are struggling with behavioral health challenges because of this? Whether they be addiction-related or mental health-related, one has to wonder how staggering the numbers really are.
A wise colleague once said, "We have to quiet the sea to be able to see beneath the Ocean." So we need to help ourselves, and others we know in seeking help. Find that path that leads that trait back into a state and learn the skills to tune into only one station. This isn't the answer for everyone, but it is for many I'm sure.
So be brave, be strong and stop fighting with yourself. Fight for yourself. The beauty beneath the ocean is amazing, you just have to sail out of the stormy seas.
Need help with substance abuse or mental health issues? In the U.S., call 800-662-HELP (4357) for the SAMHSA National Helpline.