Alton Brown Goes On Rage-Filled Rant About Dumb Kitchen Gadgets

He literally burns the need for a multi-edge baking pan.

Are you hoping Santa leaves you a fruit slicer that only slices one kind of fruit under the tree this Christmas? Planning on ordering your beau a multi-edge baking pan for Hanukkah? Or have you simply decided that traditional pasta made with flour is just too damn delicious and you’d rather eat your marinara sauce with something sadder, like cucumbers cut into the shape of noodles with a thing called a "Vegetti?"

Before you decide to purchase any of these kitchen gadgets, watch Food Network personality Alton Brown review and burn a few of Amazon’s most popular cooking gizmos in the video above.

Not only does Brown poke fun at the pointlessness of some of these devices in his delightfully snarky way, but he also reads some funny customer reviews. Plus, at the very end prepare for endless erection jokes about a strange egg cooker. What the hell does that last sentence even mean? You've got to watch the video to find out -- and believe us, it’s as satisfying to watch as traditional linguine is to eat.

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