Am I Single Because I’m Busy, Or Am I Busy Because I’m Single?

“<em>Why am I always so busy?”</em>
Why am I always so busy?”

Because I am single & childfree I try to occupy my spare time the best way I know how. This means I participate in various organizations, travel & even do a lot of community service; you name it, I’m doing it. As a matter of fact, I rarely have down time.

I do meet men when I’m out & about, but the only chance I get to talk to them on the phone is usually later in the evening during my down time. And even then I might be distracted because I’m multi-tasking. I do try to give men my undivided attention but I’m just so busy! Could this be why I’m single?! Do I not make enough time to cultivate a relationship or is it the other way around: Since I’m not in a relationship, I might as well keep myself as busy as much as I can?

Because there’s so much more to life than dating, as a single woman my time can be devoted to lots of different things. I can accomplish the things that I want to do – for myself. Not to mention, it’s much easier to channel my energy into outside activities to keep my mind off the fact that I’m single. Interacting with others and committing myself to social obligations keeps me from staying at home & basking in loneliness. I love knowing that there is always something that I can involve myself with. I am forced to focus on the activities that I’ve committed to do which keeps my alone time to a minimum.

But with all of the time I spend with other people & doing various activities, I speculate whether or not men view my busyness as a turnoff. I wonder if they think that because I’m doing so many other things, I wouldn’t have the proper amount of time to spend with them. Putting myself in a man’s shoes, if I knew a man with a lot going on, I would probably feel like he wouldn’t have enough time to spend with me.; at the very least not as much time for me as I would like for him to have. Even if he tells me he has the time to spend with me, his busy schedule says otherwise. So could the same thing be said for a man who thinks I’m too busy? I certainly hope not.

All I can say is that my busyness is indicative of me having a life. And I think having a full life should be more attractive to a man than a woman who doesn’t have a life at all. So yes, I’m busy but if I had the right man in my life I would spend less time doing other things & more time with him. In the meantime, what else is a woman supposed to do?

Men, what do you think about a woman who is seemingly “too busy” for you? Are you automatically turned off or does it make you more attracted to her?

This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email.