Sheri Sanders & Christopher Castanho decided to team up as Teacher & Student to hold space to talk about “tricky to discuss, but necessary” social topics through the lens of the Musical Theatre community. They call their article series “Musical Theatre: The Wild Side”. In this, their first article entitled “Am I Too Gay”, the pair discuss what it is like to be a male Musical Theatre actor who identifies as gay, and open it up to members of the Broadway community.
Gavin Creel and Michele Pawk, Broadway veterans and also educators, join Christopher and Sheri to weigh in on how an individual’s sexuality can be better explored throughout a performer’s training.
Earlier this month, Sheri taught at the Musical Theatre Educators Alliance conference in NYC. She asked over 90 college professors what the the ratio of gay men to straight men are in their respective Musical Theatre programs. The consensus was that approximately 70% gay, 30% straight.
Sheri: Christopher, I am very excited to speak on and hold space for these crucial subjects with you, and that we are bringing incredible people into the fold of our future discussions. It thrills me as the teacher to ask you, the student, what your experience is. So first and foremost, Christopher, you identify as gay.
Christopher: I am so excited about this too, and yes ma’am, I do!
Sheri: Me too. I came out when I was your age, and I have to say, it feels like it has been much easier being a gay woman and an actor than it is being a gay man and an actor. I would never call myself the daintiest person in the world, I have simply been labeled as “working class”, and that’s left me open to portray A LOT of different women! What is your experience as a young gay man seeking a career in musical theatre?
Christopher: The theatre community is a very welcoming place for LGBTQ individuals, which is something I am very thankful for. Currently I am studying at Shenandoah University in their Musical Theatre program, learning all I can about what I love most. Within my training, and throughout most of my life I have come to the understanding that although my educators accept and support my sexuality, they are trying to neutralize my mannerisms in order to make me more marketable.
Sheri: Are you invited to explore your sexuality at school, in class or in shows?
Christopher: Honestly, I’ve always had to work more on “playing straight”, as I naturally come across more flamboyant. It’s not because they don’t want me to “act gay” it’s just a fact that there are more straight roles than gay characters in Musical Theatre (ironically). But the funny thing is: the gays are all over Broadway, though they tend to be more extreme personalities like Lola in Kinky Boots or Rod in Avenue Q.
Sheri: So theatre school, which is, in theory, a safe space where you can leave the judgment of family and society behind in order to be yourself, is also the place you are told: you can't really be yourself because then you won’t “book”. You have to try to be this other thing that you are not and then you go in the world and the market asks you to be gay, sometimes really gay. How can you be ya’ gay self if you haven’t explored that self at all?
Christopher: It’s a conundrum, because I can absolutely see why educators are trying to subdue my mannerisms, but it’s challenging, because a musical theatre education should also allow you to further explore yourself as a person, in addition to making you marketable.
Sheri: Christopher, I feel like that’s why some people don’t make it as actors. They get lost in this terrible shuffle. Actors are trained to compete as an ingénue, a sidekick belter, or a lyric baritone, without making choices based on who they are or how they see things first. This is very true of not exploring your own sexuality first. I make people sing popular music so they can audition for Rock Musicals. That’s my calling, right? I INSIST on people exploring the “wilder sides” of themselves. The truth is, you just can’t take the gay away so that people are better, straighter actors...You have to let them LIVE in it, be good with it in their hearts, and learn how to make choices from it. Take Disco music. If you are gay and “lit” on the dance floor, what would this music do to you? Probably something very different than if you were straight. So why not live your reality FIRST however “gay” it may be--like Priscilla Queen of the Desert--and then bring it back to “neutral”--like Saturday Night Fever--so it has DETAILS. If you go RIGHT to neutral, there ain’t no details in there! I also get to teach with Wagner College where Michele Pawk, who everyone knows as a Tony Award winning (and brilliant) actor, is also currently at the head of Wagner College’s Musical Theatre Program. I get to teach with her every year, and I love the way she thinks. Michele, what do say you about this?
Michele Pawk: I have found that many of my young male, homosexual students have very rich emotional lives. When working they can easily access these emotions and live them in their work. I think it's essential to explore these truths! And let them manifest in physical ways that feel natural to them. Then, it's also essential to look at the character/style/time period the material demands. Without acknowledging that, you do a disservice to the playwright. This is where research comes into play.
Christopher: Totally, and I also don’t want this to sound as if I’m being lazy: not wanting to play a straight character or do a love scene with a woman. What we’re touching upon is the fact that I would’ve loved material, in my earlier training that did not require me to think “I have to play straight for this scene because I am supposed to be in love with a woman.” I’m just sick of the response “No, you’re too gay.” “He’s not believable in this part,” within an educational environment. I understand that Musical Theatre is a business, as it’s called show business. Being a student and training in a class is for artistic value, not monetary value. So many of my friends tell me that their teachers give them the note “Alright, that was good but we need you to butch it up.” I want to be someone who is able to explore myself and then become something other than myself, and find the common thread between the two. There are performers who have really been able to do this like Gavin Creel, who is an extraordinary actor believably playing straight on stage, while being in love with men off stage. Not all of us have that ability.
Gavin Creel: I like to think we all have the capability to do that. Who I have sex with: whom I desire, as an identity, as a human being, leaving acting aside, and how I identify in my sexual orientation should be irrelevant to who I am as an actor. For me it’s about perception.
Christopher: I just have difficulty between focusing on my type and being flexible within the kind of character I can play. I get confused on whether or not I could be perceived as a straight man on stage. I’m told to ‘live truthfully’ under the circumstances of the script; truthfully as how I would live through this, but if I was being myself I wouldn't be in love with a woman.
Gavin: You can’t think “This is the way it should be and I’m just going to live my truth.” Unfortunately if the very first woman who stood up for women's rights had lived like that, no one would have listened to her. There has to be a transition period, where we fight against that principle. To say to someone “just be yourself” would be inappropriate for the vast opportunities of roles that you could possibly play. It puts you in one lane, keeps you very specific, and can also be inhibiting. As a teacher, it’s my job to look at the student and say ‘I love you, but you’re also young, I am twenty years older than you and still trying to figure out who I am. So for you to say “I know exactly who I am”, let’s all agree that we’re still figuring that out. I’m still figuring that out. It’s not that you don’t know who you are, you’ve had flashes of who you are based on a construct under your family beliefs, size of your hometown, etc. Based on all of those things I thought I knew who I was when I first came to [the University of] Michigan.
Sheri: I think what we are saying is that we need teachers to say, “I hear you, I see you, I support the statement you are making, or even if someone is NOT making a statement, they are still saying I see you. While I was at MTEA, I asked for thoughts from Alan Shorter, Associate Professor of Performance at Texas Christian University. He happens to be gay as well. He said, “Being perceived as gay can stem from physical and vocal patterns ... and that we all, regardless of our identification, adapt or alter our physical and vocal behavior depending upon our circumstance. How we "act" in the presence of our parents or our pastor or our closest friends will vary. We can use that in the theatre. We have physical and vocal vocabularies and can use these selectively to give different impressions; those choices help build a character. What may be natural for us in our personal lives may not be appropriate to a given character." It’s identifying who you are when you are in the world engaging in real life circumstances, and then using those things to build character. It’s meeting in the middle.
Christopher: What would also really help this situation is acting material. I find that the material given in classes can be limiting: when a lot of art and drama revolves around LOVE, and (as I said before) there are more musicals with straight characters than gay characters. I most often have to be in love with a woman, which would never be the case for me in real life.
Sheri: Right, and you need roles that allow you to experience intimacy, honestly and truly with yourself first. So let’s imagine we get to use the first two years of a four year program to strip away all of the social constructs and just connect with you--YOUR personal character, who you are in the world and how you interpret things is so important. Perhaps a whole semester of character building. Roles you connect to that teach you to make choices. Exploring sexuality, gender, and emotional expression to push your envelope not with your marketability in mind, but your artistry in mind.
Gavin: People who identify as straight should be forced to play the complete opposite spectrum. Everyone should be allowed to explore the entire room. As we get closer to graduation, I think it’s the responsibilities of the educators to look at you honestly and say ‘This is who you present yourself as. This where you’re strongest.’
Sheri: This idea of everyone ‘trying everything on’ to create empathy, consciousness, to create the ability to be bendable and pliable is very compelling ... Can we actually use the classroom environment to take traditional circumstances and make them non-traditional for self-exploration? For example, Christopher…if you were able to play ANY female character in musical theatre and have that be a genuine reality, not drag, who would you play?
Christopher: I’d love to portray Maria Von Trapp in The Sound of Music, it was the first live musical I ever saw. Maria and I connect on the power of positivity and music, so that would be a cool acting experience focusing on her essence, and digging deep in myself to find those connections.
Sheri: You’d want to play those female roles realistically, using qualities of yourself that are feminine to be full and true in yourself there. I’d want to play George in Sunday in the Park….
Christopher: Yeah, before jumping headfirst into being “straight” or reading “straight”. Just to see what I am like.
Sheri: If Liesl Von Trapp, in the Sound of Music, was a young, gay man, that would be cool, too, right??!!!
Christopher: That would actually be awesome! Liesl and Rolf’s relationship would have to be even more secretive from the Captain, and then even more heartbreaking when it’s revealed Rolf is supporting the Nazi party. By allowing that character to be a gay man, it only amplifies the themes already in the piece. So now I definitely want to play Liesl, thanks for that suggestion!
Sheri: Well, the details of your emotional life would be so delicious in those circumstances. Then, when you graduate, it’s not about being a gay man, or a straight man, but being a person, period. Dynamic, vulnerable, accessible. Because the new “marketability” is someone who is in touch with themselves and can live in many different worlds with that self.
Michele: It is a business, and the truth is there will be more opportunities for work if actors are versatile. I have had the very same conversation with students regarding their contemporary-style approach to everything they do. It's limiting! My hope is that professors are trying to broaden young actor’s minds and opportunities, and not squelching who they are.
Gavin: For me, it all comes down to: Authenticity, Honesty, and Vulnerability. It’s always important to examine why we do what we do. It’s important to examine ‘Why do I have these speech patterns? Why am I comfortable talking the way I do, dressing the way I do? When do I feel the most powerful or the most comfortable? The classroom is the perfect place to explore those questions.
Sheri: What’s true is for many many years, this training was the right training. It was what was necessary for the aesthetics in musical theatre, and our teachers have clearly been in commitment to their students success. But just like in so many facets of our current climate, things are changing, and we need to meet in the middle in order for us all to change for the better.
This is one of the many topics Sheri and Christopher are opening a conversation for teachers and their students, so everyone is equipped to succeed both in life and in the current state of Musical Theatre. Their next feature, The Gender Non-Binary and Musical Theatre, focuses the conversation onto Trans actors and their teachers to speak openly with us about the “role they play” in the ever changing market.
Future Topics will include Mental Illness and the young actor in Musical Theatre, and Diversity in Musical Theatre Education.