It’s an exciting time in the field of tech (technology, not techno). We’ve seen new laptops, speaker systems, modes of transportation, and even stuff relating to outer space, I have to assume (who knows???).
But if there’s one trend that has Silicon Valley inhabitants hot and bothered, it’s definitely virtual reality.
Virtual reality, also called “VR” by the people that sit at the cool table in the Facebook cafeteria, is one of the newest innovations currently being explored. Sure, you may have heard of Google Glass. Perhaps you’re even familiar with Oculus Rift. But I hope you brought a hall pass, because I bet you’re arriving late to the most recent form of VR technology.
This newest invention goes by “All Good VR.” All Good VR is a government-funded project currently being worked on through a partnership led by tech giants such as Google, and regular giants like Steve Bannon.
HOW IT WORKS
The technology creates an alternate reality different from anything you’ve seen previously (yes even if you’ve taken shrooms), and even better, it’s simple to use. According to the website you just:
1) Put on the headset
2) Experience an alternate reality where ignorance prevails and fact is pushed to the wayside
Pretty cool, huh? But let’s talk specifics…
All Good VR offers a number of immediate, highly realistic features, including:
- Illusion of equal pay
- Colorblind racism
- Denial of truth and fact
WITH “ALL GOOD” VR...
- You’ll think that the president’s speeches are compelling and coherent
- You’ll instantly believe white privilege is a myth
- You’ll be saying, “I love Jews, otherwise why would I hire them to be my lawyers?”
BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE
Allegedly, the newest VR update includes a very exciting feature which allows you to convince yourself that Confederate statues should actually stay up. What?! That must be the craziest alternate reality technology ever made. You’re probably thinking, “Wow, sign me up!”
Not so fast. Hold your Priuses...
While you may have to wait a few months before you can buy the technology in stores, a number of “Americans” have already tested it out — thanks to an initial beta testing period.
These users have primarily been in the South, and more specifically white, and more specifically in Republican counties that still support Donald Trump. And they’re loving it!
Weird!!
According to one user, with the VR headset they think the country is going in the “absolute right direction,” despite someone dying at a recent white supremacist rally on U.S. soil. What a life to be living!
But don’t just take my word for it. Let’s read some real reviews from actual users.
REAL REVIEWS
“All Good VR is great! The country has never ran so smoothly. I mean, CNN is horrible, but the president is doing what he can. His tweets are so good and not bad for America at all. Again, the tweets are great. Also, he condemned the KKK and bigotry and nazism in a very timely, and strong, manner.”
- Rachael (User since November 8th — coincidentally, Election Day)
“I’ve had a great experience. I also found out the Earth is flat.
- Anonymous (It was Marco Rubio, though)
Wow! Looks like those VR glasses really do change reality!
As the first user in this testing period, I reached out to Paul Ryan for comment, but received no response. Rumor has it he even sleeps with the VR headset on. Now that’s commitment. No wonder he thinks everything is fine and thus isn’t doing anything!
While I myself haven’t got my hands on this new technology, it sure explains why half of the country is acting the way they are.
Disclaimer: This VR technology may cause you to think that everything is alright while decreasing your critical thinking skills.