America, I Am Sorry

Somehow, I thought integrity would prevail.

Somehow, in the blink of an eye, my whole world just turned upside down. America the Great. The melting pot. Land of the free, home of the brave. All lies. Big, fat, horrible lies. On one level, I saw it coming. On another, I couldn’t believe it.

Our true colors are on horrific display: All we care about is being white and protecting our money.

We call ourselves Christians, but we hate everyone who doesn’t look, think and act like us.

We claim we want change, then we elect another rich white man who lies and cheats and steals… another man I wouldn’t leave alone with my daughters.

We put faith in the media, when they’d clearly converted to reality show format quite some time ago.

We say innocent till proven guilty, and then when a three-decade trial and millions of dollars failed to pin anything on Hillary, we skewered her anyway. (Oh let’s be honest: We just can’t trust a woman.)

We’ve made it clear : Our bank accounts are more important than our neighbors, our principles, our children.

America, I am more sorry than I can say.

I didn’t do my part:

I wasn’t loud enough.

I wasn’t clear enough.

I didn’t set a good enough example.

I didn’t canvass door to door.

I didn’t go to rallies.

I didn’t stick signs in my yard.

I didn’t protect my daughters enough.

I didn’t fully realize their futures were at stake.

I didn’t love everyone hard enough.

I voiced my opinion, I voiced it louder than ever before, and I foolishly thought that would be enough. Somehow, I thought integrity would prevail. I thought reason would win out. I thought love would save the day.

Stupid liberal me: I put too much faith in humanity.

I won’t make those mistakes again.

I am sorry. I will do better.

That is all for now, till I can figure out how to win against people who think guns and nukes are the answer. Figure out how to live with myself in this white skin. And how to survive in a world where hate is the majority.

But I will figure it out. We will. We must.

There’s too much riding on it.

This post was originally published on Medium.

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