Amy Schumer isn't one to shy away from talking about sex and relationships, so when GQ told her all about their 2015 Men of the Year -- Bradley Cooper and President Barack Obama among them -- she had no trouble revealing her fantasies about them.
The comedian explained the various things she'd do with some of the most famous men in the world.
First, there's Tom Brady. Schumer explained that in her fantasy, they'd sit in his car and listen to "dogshit music" ("Even in my fantasy, I can’t imagine he likes good music."). He would then profess his desire to have sex with her, "someone with a real body, a real ass, who has lots of bad angles depending on the lighting."
She added, "I sit silently for a few seconds. Then I get out of the car and apologize for what I have just done to the seat and I run down the highway screaming, 'I knew it!'"
Schumer would also gladly smoke cigars and drink scotch with Barack Obama "at a restaurant in New Orleans."
"I am eating alone when the waiter says, 'Barack sent you this.' And it’s a glass of Lagavulin 16 year. My favorite scotch. I acknowledge with a nod and finish my meal. Like I’m the coolest bitch ever," she said. "We walk out without talking, and go to Preservation Hall and watch a bunch of different amazing jazz musicians. We smoke cigars and drink scotch and never say a word to each other."
And then there's Bradley Cooper. When asked what she'd want to do with the "Burnt" star, she simply replied: "Anal."
Bonus points for honesty.
To read more of Schumer's Men of The Year fantasies, head over to GQ. You can also watch the video below, in which she hilariously edits the magazine's list.
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