Batten down the hatches, moms of high school seniors! Here come the legions of bragging parents, dying to tell you all about their college acceptances. (Yes, it's actually their children who have been accepted to college, but we all know who wrote that essay, so let's not get too technical about it.)
Don't get caught off-guard and blurt out an embarrassing faux pas like,"How the %^&* did he get in THERE?!" Study this handy guide to college acceptance etiquette and be prepared to react appropriately yet honestly in every situation.
Good for him! Jock scholarship
I bet he can't wait! Party school
Smart choice. Community college
Beautiful! Beauty school
They say computers are the future. Online school
I read an article in the Wall Street Journal about this! Tech school
Good on him! Religious school
Nothing wrong with that! State school
That's amazing! Ivy league school
I'm sure she'll be very comfortable there. Private school
She's so lucky! School that rejected your equally qualified kid
Do you have family there? School you've never heard of
What an adventure! Taking a year off to find herself
Congratulations! Everyone else. Extra credit if you look like you mean it.
Alexandra Rosas hardly ever brags about her three utterly incredible teenagers at Good Day, Regular People. Peyton Price brags about her kids all the time, but in Suburban Haiku, so it doesn't really count.