Dear Beyoncé,
I finished listening to your new album, "Lemonade," which, according to a lot of recent buzz, was written about your marriage to Jay Z, and I cannot stay silent for a minute longer.
I get it. If the cheating rumors are true, Jay Z did wrong by you. No one, especially me, is arguing with you about that.
But - and this is a big BUT - it does not mean you need to make lemonade just yet from the lemons life has dealt you. It is possible to come back from infidelity and, believe it or not, become an even stronger couple than the two of you were before.
I am not at all cliché when I tell you that repairing your marriage will require a lot of hard work. But, take it from me, you can find a new beginning point from which to start the next phase of your relationship and move forward - together. I have seen it happen and, I might add, not only once but many, many times with my clients and friends.
Let me bet no one ever told you marriage was going to be easy. If they did, they were lying, especially for a couple like the two of you. And, no, I am not referring to your celebrity status and high net worth, although these factors do create a different set of circumstances.
Setting those aside, what I refer to instead is your status as two ordinary people who have to confront all of the same stressors the rest the world does when they get married. Stressors like balancing careers, parenting, and resisting temptation, all while remembering why it is you fell in love and committed to each other under the law and before God in the first place.
To remind couples like you and Jay Z what it takes to build and maintain a strong, healthy marriage, I have come up with a list of 10 simple, logical, and, most importantly, realistic commandments to follow. Take a look.
1. Unconditionally love your partner always.
2. Respect your partner always.
3. Compliment your partner often.
4. Commit to your partner unequivocally.
5. Honor the sanctity of marriage.
6. Support your partner without question during good and bad times.
7. Work on strengthening the bond that you and your partner have to make it everlasting.
8. Commit to trusting your partner without hesitation indefinitely.
9. Focus on your partner's happiness always.
10. Emotionally and physically consign yourself to your partner unconditionally.
Making the decision to dissolve your marriage is not something to be considered lightly. Divorce is a process filled with emotional, psychological, and financial pitfalls, not only for each of you but your daughter as well. In other words, the grass is not always greener on the other side of marriage.
I think it is also worth noting that divorce does not necessarily have to be the answer, even in situations where there has been infidelity.
What I recommend is that you and Jay Z read these commandments together and, should you both decide to focus on strengthening your marriage, continue to refer to them monthly. Hold yourselves accountable to keeping these commandments, even if you have not in the past. Honestly, do you have anything to lose by trying?
So, before rushing out to make lemonade, perhaps it makes more sense to invest in your lemonade stand first.
In the event your lemonade stand then fails, remember, Beyoncé, I am here for you and Jay Z will be the one receiving my next advice column. Good luck.
All my best,
Vikki S. Ziegler, Esq.
Vikki Ziegler is the star of Bravo TV's Untying the Knot, the founder and CEO of DivorceDating, Author of The Pre-Marital Planner: Your Complete Legal Guide to a Perfect Marriage, and a co-founder of and partner at Ziegler & Zemsky, LLC. To learn more about Vikki, visit www.vikkiziegler.com or follow her on Twitter and Facebook.