I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately. This is a letter to you because you’ve been making me sad lately. I don’t want you to think that you are anything less than the star that you are because you’ve been treating yourself in a way that I just don’t think you should be.
Sometimes as friends we joke that we “hate ourselves,” but it is only that—a joke. Maybe we drank too much one night or we said something dumb that we maybe should not have and that is why we “hate ourselves”—just silly small regrets or funny situations we got ourselves into, but when I start to see you get upset over other things like boys or get anxious about the future, I worry.
Sometimes it’s hard for you to picture yourself as someone that can do incredible things because there are so many people around you that have everything figured out. That doesn’t mean that there aren’t millions of people that don’t have it figured out yet either. The pressures of the world and the feeling of possibly suffocating under this pressure of pleasing everyone in your life with life decisions about your future are exhausting and stress inducing.
What I really want to say to you is this: no one has it figured out. No one ever has everything figured out.
What I really want to say to you is this: no one has it figured out. No one ever has everything figured out. Some people are better at hiding it than others, but life is unpredictable (something I know you know all too well) and even if we have a plan, 10/10 times the plan will be altered and tailored to who you are at every stage in your life.
I don’t want you stressing about your future because a gem of a friend such as you will always have a bright future. Will there be crappy people and unfortunate circumstances encountered every day in the future? Yes, definitely. However, surrounding yourself with the positive and wonderful people you have in your life will ensure a bright future.
You’ve got a support system—not many people can say that. You have people in your life who care about your future and will give advice and pull strings where and when they can to see you succeed. And you will succeed—you’ve got to believe it because we all believe in you. I believe in you.
Now, we have to talk about boys because, as your best friend, I am obligated to tell you that you don’t need a man to validate your existence or make you feel special/wanted/etc. It is my obligation to tell you that; it’s my job to remind you of this whenever you need it. However, for me, it is not just a task that must be done. I have strong conviction in this statement because I know you so well and I know boys are not a necessity for happiness.
It is up to us to create our own happiness. There are influences on our happiness, of course, but these influences should not be so strong that we lose sight of ourselves and how important we are in the lives of others—especially to each other. I will support every decision you make, regardless of how absolutely stupid it might be. And we both know you make extremely stupid decisions, but if I don’t support you, who will? I might not support your decisions, but I support you.
It is disheartening for me to watch you choose some of the losers that you do because you deserve the world and you don’t see it. You don’t see how much you are worth.
You are worth so much more than a continuous cycle of heartbreak and insult.
You are worth more than a loser who can’t commit to your imperfect perfection and your sometimes-subtle crazy.
You are worth more than a guy who will break up with you at the most inconsiderate of times.
You are worthy of so much more than you give yourself credit for.
You are worth more than a guy who refuses to understand your intricate and complicated wants and needs and decides to neglect them regardless.
You are worthy of a guy who sees you for who you really are and if he sees what I see, he will love you with his whole heart. He will see that you are impeccably unique and that you have a rare perspective on life.
As I said, it makes me sad to think you don’t see all of this; you are worthy of so much more than you give yourself credit for and so much more than the guys you’ve chosen.
What I want for you is immeasurable happiness; I want you to wake up every morning knowing you have so many people that love and support you and that you are worth more than you always thought. There’s someone out there for you, but you need to love yourself first and learn how to make yourself the happiest you can be.
Sometimes it feels like the world is spinning, but you’re stuck in reverse. Maybe it looks like everyone is going forward and you’re going backwards, but what everyone sprinting forward doesn’t see is that you’re just strolling in a different direction, taking in the sights and observing your surroundings before sprinting into a lifestyle you are unsure of.
I think what I am trying to say to you is that you are okay. Life is happening and you need to hang in there and know that people love you. If you find someone you care for and he doesn’t love you too, lose him. Shake off the negativity in your life and know that you have so much time and so many more decisions to make in the future that will have positive impacts on you. You just have to get rid of negativity and wait and see what happens.
Bestie, don’t settle for anything less than what equals the absolute treasure that you are.