Real Life. Real News. Real Voices.
Help us tell more of the stories that matter from voices that too often remain unheard.
Join HuffPost Plus

An Open Letter to My Stepkids

Over the past few years I've heard people tell you that you're lucky to have a stepmom like me. The thing is, they have it all wrong. I'm the one who is lucky. You three little people have made my life so easy.
This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email.

Dear Stepkids,

I never thought I would be a stepmom. Never ever in my wildest dreams. But I'm here, and I just want to thank you for being in my life. You three little people have changed my world. You've taught me so many lessons, and I am so lucky to have you!

The first thing I want to tell you is that I know how much it sucks to have divorced parents. Like it totally sucks! My parents split up when I was younger, and to this day I am still pretty ticked off about it.

I also want you to know that I think about how difficult everything is for you on a daily basis. Having two separate homes, two separate sets of belongings, and not being able to see your mom, dad and little sister every day. I know it's pretty tough!

If I could change this for you, I would. Even though, if your parents hadn't had chosen to go their separate ways, you wouldn't be in my life, if I could give you this, I would. But because I can't, I'll just promise to try and be the best stepmom possible!

Over the past few years I've heard people tell you that you're lucky to have a stepmom like me. The thing is, they have it all wrong. I'm the one who is lucky. You three little people have made my life so easy.

When I decided to date your dad, I braced myself for some rebellion from you three. Some tricks, some attitude, some trouble. Because that's how I was when I was a child of divorce. I figured this was my karma. But that hasn't happened.

You know, maybe if you were the stereotypical stepkids, I would have been the stereotypical evil stepmom. But you've made it so easy on me, so I guess we will never know. Either way, like I said, you three should be getting all the credit!

Thank you for being so patient with me as I adjusted to having life with kids... Little shoes kicked all over, toys on the floor, constant background chatter, piles of laundry, the crazy extra curricular schedule. It was new to me and it took a while to get used to.

Thank you for being patient with me when I had no idea what to do when it came to being a stepparent... rules, structure, guidance, school lunches, G-rated language, dressing you in your hockey equipment. At first, all these simple tasks seemed overwhelming to me! But instead of rolling your eyes, you decided to show me the ropes!

Thank you for not writing me off on the days when I wasn't at my best. The days when I felt overwhelmed and scared. The days when I may have been quicker to snap or seemed off on my own world! You could have chalked me up as that evil stepmom... but you didn't.

Thank you for not making a scene when the server or teller at the store store refers to me as your Mom. I know it's uncomfortable, but you handle it with grace and humor.

Know that now, when you leave and go back to your mom's house, I am not thankful for the break. I miss you. I miss the little shoes kicked all over, and the toys and the constant chatter! I miss the lunches and the hectic schedule. All the things that seemed overwhelming to me at first, are the things I crave when the house is so quiet.

Know that even though I never thought I would be a stepmom... never in my wildest dreams. Now it is one of the favorite things about my life!

xo Love always,
your "step-monster"

Jamie Scrimgeour writes candidly about her blended family life on her blog The Poptart Diaries. Finding little to no positive support upon embarking on the world of step-parenting, Jamie is passionate about supporting fellow stepmoms in overcoming the chaos that of blended family life. To stay updated on her latest, follow Jamie on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

MORE IN Divorce