An open letter to all of brave sexual harassment victims that have come forth recently and those who have not.
This is to all of the women that have suffered in silence for years and have now said enough is enough. This is also to women that we will never hear your story because you are not famous. But your story matters. We will stand in your place and give you a voice. You matter too.
Dear Brave Soul,
The first thing that I want to say to you, is that I think that you are all so very brave to speak out against such powerful men regardless of the consequences. You are Sheroes and heroes without capes.
I also want to say Thank You! Thank you for giving a voice to all the people in the workplace, churches, homes, and organizations, that are experiencing sexual harassment on a daily basis. This struggle has no color, no age, and no gender. Thank you for telling our stories. Thank you for drawing a line in the sand for us that says “It's over! We are not gonna take it anymore!”
Next, I'm sorry! I'm sorry that you have been violated. You didn’t deserve it. I'm sorry that you felt you needed to keep your story buried and quiet for all of these years. I'm sorry for the enormous burden you feel, as you watch the world react to your now public trauma.
I'm sorry no-one was there to protect you. I'm so sorry that your “no” was not good enough. I'm sorry that you are watching your pain play out as the big story of the day, until they forget and move on.. So just in case no one said it yet, I am sorry.
Allow me to introduce myself. I am a sexual assault Survivor and Thriver as well. I am an empowerment coach, and the best selling author of my personal memoir “The Intentional Woman”. It is my life's mission To Shine the Light in the Darkness and to empower men and women to come out of their nightmares and start living the life of their dreams.
As a coach, I have been so proud of you and yet very worried. I'm proud because you have found the courage to tell your truth and that is so very brave. Yes you! You are brave!
I can totally empathize with the terror that you must overcome in order to tell what has haunted you in your mind, body, and emotions for years. I kept my secret for 10 years. It started when I was eight, and I never told until I was 17. I too knew my life would be in danger the moment I spoke those words aloud. I knew that I would be exposed just as much the perpetrator. My courage was slow, yet premeditated and deliberate. I just wanted to be free. I know you can relate. I wanted people around me to understand why I was homeless. To understand Why I was alone and seemed to be absent from my body and my life. We all have our reasons why we finally tell our truth. I have read many of your stories, and have wept at the trauma of those moment. I have wept for the heavy boulder that you have carried on your back since the incident or the incidents. i have wept for your shame. Again, you are so brave. You are my hero/shero. You have rescued yourself from this hell. You may not feel like it, but you are more than a survivor, you are a THRIVER!
My first advice to you is this; go to the nearest mirror and look yourself in the eye. I know this will be hard, but you've already done the hardest part. So look yourself in the mirror, and with love and compassion, give yourself a gentle hug. Say this aloud to yourself: I'm proud of you for being brave. We made it. We are okay. It wasn't our fault, but whatever fault we have, we forgive ourselves. We let ourselves out of this prison and out of this nightmare. It is now time for our healing to begin. We are Free! Now take three deep breaths. Releasing your pain and breathing in your sense of relief. You Are Still Here. You may need to do this for a few days or even weeks, just to know that you're okay. You are ready to move forward with your life.
Finally, this brings me to why I'm worried. I remember how hard it was for me after I told my my secret. I remember how I felt as if I had just been thrown up by the ocean onto land and that I was barely breathing. I have coached so many women in their first days after the big reveal and they are in such critical condition. Your brain starts to criticize you and make you second-guess your decision to tell. To second-guess your role in the situation. You start to deal with the guilt over the repercussions the accuser is experiencing. And you're also starting to obsess over recounting your story correctly over and over again. The terror starts to creep in about what type of backlash you and your family will experience. I lived this nightmare. I remember the terror. Sometimes I still watch for him in my surroundings….. So with all this going on, I'm concerned about you getting some support. Family and friends can only travel so far with us. They have their own emotions that they are dealing with about the situation. They love us, but they can't take us through this journey. Many people try to carry this burden alone, but I tell you now it's too heavy to carry by yourself. My recommendation is that you find a counselor or coach that has experience with overcoming trauma, particularly sexual trauma. Find someone who can give you the support and steps that are necessary in order to create a life outside of this situation. To create a life of purpose. And to guide you in regaining your emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual well-being.
I am offering my services. I have many avenues in which we might speak in private. Time and location is not an issue. I just want to serve you. I just want to make sure that you have the tools to release yourself from this nightmare and go on to create the life of your dreams. Yes, the life of your dreams. You deserve it. You survived this nightmare and you only deserve the best. There will still be stumbling blocks because life keeps rolling on. It doesn't really care about what we've already suffered. It's up to us to recover and be resilient. So I offer my compassion. I offer my empathy. I offer my vulnerability. I offer my story. I offer my light and guidance to the other side. Many people have called me the Fairy Godmother and the best friend that understands the words that they cannot even speak nor know to speak. I'm here for you. Now that the world is clearing its consciousness and so many women are coming forth with truth, it is time that I step out into my purpose and Shine the Light bright for those that are in the Darkness. Please take my hand and let me be your guide.
Feel free to reach out to me at theintentionalwoman1@gmail.com. You can also find my memoir/self help book at theintentionalwoman.net This book “The Intentional Woman: the premeditated, pre-calculated, predetermined, steps I took to go from living a nightmare to living my dream life” (long title) will help you heal and give you the exact steps needed to move forward with your life. I wrote this book for such a moment as this. I had no idea that so many women would start to break their silence at once. But I am here and ready to assist you.
Here is a brief video from the KC Public Plaza Library to start you on your journey. https://www.facebook.com/kclibraryplaza/videos/1633042656718808/
Nameste.
The Intentional Woman Author