In a recent blog on The Huffington Post, Carly Israel wrote about her decision to leave her marriage and embrace the “beautiful mess” of post-split life.
Below, the Cleveland, Ohio-based writer looks back and writes a letter to the 26-year-old bride she was on her wedding day in 2005.
Dear blushing bride,
Regret nothing. You are beautiful and 26 and full of hope.
Your parents gave you a fairytale wedding. All of the plans and details and centerpieces and flower arrangements culminated in an unforgettable day.
If a genie came to you the night before and woke you from your sleep to reveal what would happen in your marriage, things might be different now.
Out of fear and ignorance, you would not have gone through with the wedding if you had known it would end in divorce 11 years later.
But hindsight is not always 20/20. It does not take into account the minute details, the lessons learned, the perspective, the challenges or the joy. Oh, beautiful, Carly, if you hadn’t married, you would have missed out on so much.
No, if crystal ball showed you how this would end you might have not gone through with it at all. You consider divorce to be a failure. I am here to tell you, what has come from this union could never be considered a failure.
Today, you have three beautiful children because of this marriage. This marriage brought you to the place where you currently stand: a 37-year-old newly single mother who’s co-parenting with a man who you once wanted to spend the rest of your life with. The details of why you divorced are not up for discussion. Never allow anyone to call this marriage a failure. This marriage is not a failure.
Life simply happened. And life has a way of taking us down paths we never intended or expected.
Life has a way of changing how we see everything. Those three beautiful children are gifts from the universe. Those three beautiful children are half of you and half of their father. Never forget this when you look at their faces. They are your North Star. Let them always guide you. If you focus on them you will never be lost.
Walk down that aisle. No regrets, girlfriend, no regrets. God has you.
Love,
Carly, aged 37
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