An Open Letter to Women Struggling With Their New Year's Resolutions

Well, it's not you, it's your resolutions. We make them, and statistically all but 8% of New Year's Resolutions are kept. The job, the man, life. The kids, the divorce, the move, financial insecurity. The patriarchy. Women's roles.
This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email.


Women, are you fragile and falling apart?

Well, it's not you, it's your resolutions. We make them, and statistically all but 8% of New Year's Resolutions are kept.

The job, the man, life. The kids, the divorce, the move, financial insecurity. The patriarchy. Women's roles.

What woman can keep a resolution or two or ten with all that we're up against?

Here's a quote that speaks straight to our feeling lousy about not sticking to our goals just a few days after New Year's:

"Character is the ability to carry out a good resolution long after the excitement of the moment has passed". Cavett Robert

It's almost impossible to build the character you need to keep working towards your goals and dreams when what you hear inside your head, or from others is -

"Who do you think you are?" and "I'm fine".

Many successful women admit to thoughts like this. In an ABC interview Diane Von Furstenburg said,

"I feel like a loser sometimes...".

You ditch your resolutions real fast when things get rough and these thoughts come, and you go back to your little corner of the world. You keep doing what you've been doing, telling yourself it's good enough. That you're fine. You tell yourself to be grateful, and your dreams and goals remain just that. Dreams.

How do you change this?

This year, for this 30 Day Challenge, you can make resolutions in a different way.

You can have the support and community of other women, right here. No need to do it alone.
Step by step, day by day be true to yourself, and to all of us, instead of setting goals alone.

"If you're true in the depths of your heart, the world rearranges itself around you". Nicole Daedone


Reach deep inside yourself for a wake up call moment, (you could have many so pick one), and hold onto that as you are preparing for the battle of your life. Because that's what it takes.

Are your fingers and mouth orange? maybe your wake up call moment is when you found yourself with your hands and mouth orange from eating a bag of cheese puffs because you were mad or sad at someone or something. This may be your weight loss wake up call moment.

Are you alone on a dark street and cannot request a Lyft or a cab because your app says your last payment was declined by your credit card company, and now you have no way home? This may be your get out of debt wake up call.

Is another country looking the other way at women being raped and controlled and you find you've had it with another news story like this? This may be your call to make a difference for women in the world.

Did your kid change into a moody, obnoxious kid overnight because of all the unsupervised technology time? Maybe its time to have a family New Year's Resolution sit down so you can get your kid back from the Zombies he's been watching.

How about your boss? Your love life? Any moments that could propel you and light your fire towards a different 2016?

My wake up call came about 3 months ago when I got so angry that I grabbed the toaster off the kitchen counter and threw it across the room. (no one was in the room) Then I reached for a bowl of applesauce and threw that. I still have applesauce stains on the piano and the ceiling.

I never did anything like this in my life and I don't want to ever do this again.

This was my wake up call to my new years resolution to stop being the "Yes, I'm fine" girl. Yes dear, sure, I can do it. No problem. Oh, we're in the red again, that's ok honey. I won't get the kids shoes. I'll take another year of being in the red. The kids need me, I can't go... you won't be home in time? That's fine. A rejection letter? Well, you're the expert so I will take your no and sit with it and put my manuscript away.

I used to write resolutions like write a book, make more money, get more coaching clients, travel, have more patience with my kids. Date night on Tuesdays. Not this year.

This year it's to let go of the accumulation of 'its fine, I'm fine' and not let it build up, rather feel for my truth and speak it.

Write your wake up call moment in the comments and we can help each other by just witnessing each other as the magnificent women we are, wanting to fight for a difference in our lives.

This is the start of our 30 day battle cry for us women to reclaim our power and radiance to get what we desire and to go the distance for ourselves together.

Join the 30 Day New Year's Resolution Challenge.
Get daily support and motivation in the comment section, with many other women fiercely defending their wake up call moments for a life they design.

Let me know how you're taking a stand for yourself this year.

As you think about your wake up call moment for 2016, listen to the Song Of The Day: Jessie J GOLD "Everyone dies but not everyone lives".

Popular in the Community